The day book. [volume], April 01, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 5

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
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' DAILY COMMENT ON
By this time Champ Cark and
Willyum Hearse ought to just about
know where they stand.
Or where they lie.
They have taken an awful fall.
And they fit very nicely today as a
couple of April Fool jokes, in regard
to the Panama tolls deal.
Fate must be telling them, "I toll
you so." .
Major Bunkhouser got a kick in
the slats from Chief Gleason.,
Looks like a case of the censor be
censored.
We can almost hear Bunk wailing
to the policewomen: "It's your fault,
dem it."
Spring is here with a smash! Guess
we better say April Fool!
At last our little friend the Inter
Ocean is on the for sale list. Sorry,
but we can't use it.
Judge Petit proposes a law which
would make marriage and divorce
much more difficult.
Considering the number of cases
that judges have acted on in the
divorce court in the past year, that
sort of a law listens well.
This trial marriage stuff isn't doing
a thing to happiness. And goodness
knows we all can use all the happi
ness we can get.
We have, all noticed the new cars
that hive been put on the Kedzie line.
And" they weer bragged of as hav
ing bully ventilation.
Well, something went amiss Wed
nesday morning on one of 'em. The
only way we can rightly eexpress it
is the air was rotten.
Passengers were packed in like
limburger cheese in a crock and the
odor, through poor ventilation, was
about the same.
There is an air fan in front of these
new cars, but the blame fan wasn't
going.
Get 'em fixed!
The "Family Entrance" signs have
started to come down. All right, let
PEOPLEAND THINGS
'em come, as long as no one is under
them.
John Cox hit his wife with a dkillet
because her pancakes were no good.
Get the axe! Our wife made a
lemon pie last week.
Wow! Experts have come across
with some more suggestions for the
garbage system.
Why the dickens didn't they do
that garbage arguing in the winter
time.
Everything thaws out i.n the spring
time and the stockyards sniJell is bad
enough!
o o
SO COMMON
"I beg your pardon," said the re
porter, "but are you Mr. Spudde, the,
potato king?" . i
"Yes, but I don't hke that term,"
replied the magnate, testily. "Oil
kings and cattle kings are the like
are so common. Call me a potaton-tate."
the
SUSPICIOUS
Judge Have ou ever seen
prisoner at the bar? .
Witness Never, your honor: but?
I've seen him when Itstrongly sus
pected he'd been at it' ,
jhl
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