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Newspaper Page Text
i R&TDoT ViASS ABA5Y DOkbAR
f t KNOW I Vlbki VN IT. s I
SANK wtoiss aLVEC
PLEASURE TO COME
A judge was once trying a case in
U-which the question arose whether the
defendant, a vocalist, was competent
to fulfill his contract. One of the wit-
Well, he could not. sine- 1ik th
"I have never heard the Archangel
Gabriel," was the comment.
a. ine juage repuea Dianaiy, with a
fS gentle sarcasm, "That, sir, is anleas-
"ure to come.
HE NEVER WOULD
Pat and Mike were obliged to halt
I thelrheayily loaded cart to make way
jor a iunerai. uazmg at tne proces
sion, Pat suddenly remarked: "Mike,
I wish I knew where I was goin' to
lie. I'd give $1000 to know the
fiaue wiieie x ui gum tu uie.
"Well, Pat, what -good would it do
' A"V. yez knew?
:T?r T.rrl oo1 Tof
'SLture, I'd niver
KEEPING IT lL-THE FAMILY
It was Mrs. Malloon's birthday, and
she felt a trifle disappointed that
there was no gift beside her plate. It
was the first time in twenty years
that her husband had forgotten the
occasion. Mr. Malloon smiled 'at her
"My dear," he said, "I have been
so busy lately that I have not had
time to buy you a birthday gift; but
I'll give you the cow."
She thanked him graciously.
"Daisy is a beautiful cow," she said.
Two months later Mr. Malloon's
birthday came around. When he ap
peared at breakfast his wife greeted
him with a radiant smile. "My dear,"
she said, "I have been so busy lately
sewing for the children that I havenjt
had time to make you a birthday gift;
but I'll give you the cow.'V-Judge.
ALREADY HAD ONE
A gentleman once prepared to meet
possible burglars by purchasing a re
volver. It was a nice little weapon
with "For Burglars"' neatly engraved
on the butt, and he was very proud of
it. But one evening he forgot to take
it upstairs to bed with him as usual.
When he came downstairs in the
morning he found the house despoiled
of all valuables and this note lying
beside the revolver:
"Thanks; but I always carry my
Otoh! The Burglar."
"Are you really going to marry
"I don't know what to say. All the
girls in my class read his letters."
"Eighteen of them thinjc him a
dear, and nineteen say he's a dub."
o o .
VERY GOOD REASON ,
Judge Why did you marry' two
Bigamist It takes two women to
support a man with the present high.
cost of living. v
go near thot place."