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Newspaper Page Text
?T TV- 'T- TWOf f1Cj-J-
jEREr.fiS A "DO& cbl oak HAF.
IEC-fltt; ITOI1 uurtiusin ri
.About' voT becomes o Hiw . ,
. A teacher trying to impress on her
children the rightness of kindness to-
.vard all animals took them for a
want, 10 pnng me lesson nome to
hem. relates the, Delineator.
l Hearing a scrffam from little John
ny, she asked: -"What's the matter.
Tve been sitting ona hornet," was
Xhe tearful response,"and I'm afraid
I've hurt the poor Jlttlejthing."
"Now this beautiful country," said
the real estate agent, "has the at
traction of natural gas."
Did it have it before you came
here?" asked the visitor. N. Y.
"Waiter, this egg is spoiled."
"Don't wonder, sir. It's hieh cost
"has probably turned its head, sjr."
-Nr-Y; World. -
- NONE THE WISER
A Scottish visitor to the Carlyles in
Chelsea was much struck with the
sound-proof room which the sage had
contrived for himself in the attic,
lighted from the top, and where no
sight or- noise from outside could
"My conscience, this is fine!" cried
the old friend with unconscious sar
casm. "Here ye may write and study
all the rest of your life and no human
being be one bit the' wiser."
A H EXTRA
Two men in a restaurant were dis
puting as to what a pineapple really
was. One insisted that it was a fruit
and thfe other insisted it was a vege
table. The men finally decided to
accept the decision of the waiter, who
"Waiter," said one of them, "is a
pineapple a fruit or is it a vegetable?"
"It's neither, gentlemen; a pineap
ple is a hextralV Harper's Weekly.
Mother Johnhy, you said you'd
been to Sunday school.
Johnny (with a far-away look)
Mother How does it happen that
your hands smell of fish?
Johnny I carried home the Sun
day school magazine, an' the outside
is all about Jonah atid the whale.
o o v
"My husband sees pink elephants
when he drinks:"
"Mine has a worse delusion .than
that. He sees green dogs. It's expen
"How's that?" v
"Why, he goes and buy licenses for
o q .
"I want ten pounds of coffee." "
"In the bean?" .
"Then you'd better go down to the,
ground floor." NY. World.