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Newspaper Page Text
JMW"1 'i"Q'niHlffJWWpjlHi; i"'ig"g,yqff9'?' ?rf?gjrm$&xe' rtf---.
jiOUT foU To TAfe'E'RlTilE
ig(OER DOQr SHOW, UNO X0 I
?rmri HIM rDPtPP? -rcrr .-f
""1 FIND HIMINDEJ?
Tommy had teased, begged and
Implored his father to buy him a
watch. The impatient father's an
swer was, "No; once and for all, no!
If I hear you mention the word watch
jagain, I shall punish you severely!"
That evening the family assembled
at the dining table, and. as was their
--custom before eating, each repeated
a verse from the Bible.
When Tommy's turn came, he said,
"What I say unto one of your I say
unto all of you watch!"
L The watch was forthcoming.
'- "When Beanbrough was in Florida,
' jtie sent what he said was a postcard
-picture of a big fish he caught."
vX "Is that so?"
rtr. !.... .... i ... t. : 4.sa
J.C3, uui, juu miu,,uc is a. uilltj
earsighted, and the postcard .he
icked out bore the picture of a sub
,' FIRST AID i
A train slowed up at a busy station,
and a man was seen to put his head
excitedly out of the window of a
"There's a woman in here fainted!"
he cried. "Has any one got any
brandy or whisky? Quick!"
Some one in the crowd on the plat
form handed him a bottle. He un
corked it frantically, put it to his lips
and took a noble pull.
' "Ah," he sighed; "that's better. It
always did upset me to see a wbman
faint" Top-Notch. - v '
HER ORDER FILLED
A certain surly old Yankee who
runs a small summer hotel on the
coast once received a letter from a
prospective "guest" who wrote to en
gage "two large, sunny rooms over
looking the ocean and connecting,
with private bath."
One may imagine tlje lady's sur
prise at getting the following curt
"Dear Madam: All rooms face the
ocean, and that's your bath."
o o $
BABY'S COLOR LINE
A young mother, who had Just re
turned from India, engaged a new
nurse for her baby. The nurse came
to her and said: "I don't know what's
the matter, madam, but the little one
cries and cries. I can do nothing to
quiet it" The mother thought a mo
ment; then, brightening up, she said:
"I remember now. Baby's last nurse
was a black one. You will find the
xsove-polish on the third shelf in the
o o -
NOT FOR HIM
Cyrus (entering a sixteenth-floor
office, panting) Them -Stairs" must
be sev'ral miles long! y
Lawyer Why didn't you comeup
in one of the elevators there? -f
Cyrus Not much! I jes see one
of 'em full o' people fall dowa that
hole there! Bohemian.