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Newspaper Page Text
ygn Jf V
r2C5fN j jr- y-fr- t - wry
if HE rtASS
, THE FRENCH FOR IT
Mrs. Putton-Ayres had picked up a
few French phrases which she work-
I ed into her talk on every possible oc
casion. Entering the butcher's shop
Pone day she inquired if he had any
"Boned what, ma'am?" asked the
"Bon - vivant," she repeated.
"That's the French for good- liver,
1 n n
Waiter Were you ringing the bell,
jj Customer (after long wait) Ring
ing it: ureaj acott, no; i was tolling
Si I thoueht vou were dead ! Every
A o o
fcjf She. Charles, what's a cabaret?
. . .tie A caoaretis a place tnat takes
.the rest out of restaurant and puts
the din in dinner. Princeton Tjger.
THE WEARYING CHASE
Tommy could not understand why
his teacher thought that the follow
ing paragraph from his composition
on "A Hunting Adventure" lacked
animation and effectiveness:
"Pursued by the relentless hunter,
the panting gazelle sprang from cliff
to cliff. At last she could go ho
farther. Before her yawned the
chasm, and behind her the hunter."
THE PRUNE CLUB
"Why is aie like a silver dollar?"
asked the thin boarder, coming to the
"Because it's round," ventured the
little stenographer, with a titter.
"No, Flossie; you're wrong."
"Because it goes'so fast," suggest
ed the fat man, who was two weeks
behind in his board.
"All wrong. Here it is: Because
it is composed of four quarters."
The lecturer raised his voice.
"It is my belief , and I venture to as
sert it," he declared, that there isn't
a man in this audience who has ever
done anything to prevent the destruc
tion of our vast forests."
A rather timid, henpecked-looking
man quietly arose in the rear of the
hall and said:
"I er I've shot woodpeckers."
"Will says that when he kissed you
last night he noticed that you'd been
"Well, all I've got to say is that a
man who will notice onions on a
girl's breath when he's kissing her
hasn't got his mind on his business."
'T want just one little kiss!" he
"Yes, sir," replied the absent
minded shop girl. "Will you take it
with you or have it sent?" Fun,