Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1756-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
r' w: ym I AND SHE KEPT ON- "Aunt Chloe,-do you think you are a Christian?" asked a preacher of an old negro woman who was sinok ing a pipe. "Yes, brudder, I 'spects I is." "Do you know there is a passage in the Scriptures that declares that nothing unclean shall inherit the kingdom of heaven?" "Yes, I'se heard it" "Well, you smoke, and there is nothing so unclean as the breath of a smoker. So what do you say to that?" "Well, when I go dere, I 'spects to leave my breff behind me." q o A RUSHING BUSINESS -.VWell,'' said the business manager to the new salesman, "how many or ders did you get yesterday?" I got two orders in one place." "mat's tne stun: wnat were they?" "One was to get out and the other was to stay out." OofB (GREAT GUMS!- J- fotfooTS I my conservatory! r' lgjn14g new york a perfectly good church, wedding come awful near being spil ed by a mean guy over in brooklyn a cuppel of days ago the bride's old man owns a coal yard'and a string of ice houses, he gets them coming and going, and has the long green stacked away in bales with the bridegroom it's different. the income tax don't worry that boy none, but his bqard bill had been bothering him a lot however, he is there with the good looks and the soft pedal chin music, and as the coal merchant's dauter is 2,8 and aboutas good-lookin as a fire swept shoe factory, the rest was easy the church was full of society and uther people, and the minister was doing his best to earn his 20 dollers, and everything was going along fine until the bridegroom had to repeat after the minister, with all my world ly goods i thee endow he hadent no more than got the words out of his mouth when a guy that he owed money to chirped right, out there goes 2 suits of clothes, a plug hat and a toothbrush . well, they finished up the cere- ' mony, but the snickerin was sum thing dredful, beleave me o o A BOY'S WISDOM A little Brooklyn boy when told "Yoircan't have your cake and. e, at it, too' asked : "Well, who does have it if-1 don't?" X o o A SHEDDER, "Confound It! Elver since the cook bought that second-hand fur coat wo have been on a hair diet" Fun,