OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, April 16, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 6

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-04-16/ed-1/seq-6/

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'..-..- - .! W P W
Big-Bellied Success. In all of the
paintings, pictures, statues or photo
graphs of Indians OU ever saw did
you ever see a fat-bellied Indian?
Did you ever see one with flabby
cheek-jowls, double or triple chins or
other physical indications of the hu
man hog?
I know there are fat-bellied In
dians, but they are the civilized In
dians the Indians as they are after
vain man has done his best to im
prove on nature. Yes, the denatured
Indians after the glorious white man
has introduced him to firewater and
ryphilis and all of the refinements
of civilized vice that money will buy.
Art, however, has preserved for us
the Indian as God made him the su
perb human animal without an ounce
of superfluous fat, the human ani
mal that hustled for his own grub and
fought with all the forces of nature
Tor life. .
In the days of real life the success
ful human was the mighty hunter,
who used to the full all the power of
brain and body.
Today many successful men are
at-bellied. Some of them have to
spread their legs' when they sit down
and rest their ponderous beer-and-wine
paunches on the chair. You can
see them riding out Michigan boule
vard at the close of day, sitting back
in the comfortably upholstered auto,
great bundles of soft, flabby, unheal
thy fat.
They do not wear scalps at their
. belt; but if you go to the theater, in
the evening you will see their scalps
on the fat, overfed bodies of their
squaws. The scalp jnay be a string
of pearls, a. diamond necklace
trophies of the hunt for dollars. Not
hairy, blood scalps from a human
head, but scalps just the same
scalps lifted from the souls and bodies
of the men, women and children of
industry who have been ground up
into diamonds, pearls and other "pre
cious" stones. jm
It may be diamonds are more pop
ular than rubies as industrial scalps,
because they are white or yellow, and
don t show the red of the blood.
Many successful men grind money
out of men, women and children, and
then proceed to eat and drink like
hogs. They learn to be hogs while
hogging the lion's share of the pro
duct of labor, and quite naturally be
come hogs when they go to the
trough to feed.
Nature is a wise old owl. Her laws
are at work every minute. When
humans become hogs degeneration
gets busy getting rid of them. Their
progeny falls off, and the hogs them
selves die off from apoplexy, acute in
digestion, fatty degeneration, appen
dicitis, dyspepsia and a host of other
diseases of the body.
The big-bellied men drink Pluto
water, Red Raven splits and other
laxative and purgative waters. They
take salts, pills, powders and even
cascarets. They go to Turkish baths
for artificial exercise and elimination
of poisons from the clogged system,
out of jail and doctors to keep them
out of jaid and doctors to keep them '
out of the grave.
Summing up, modern success is
made up of money, clothes, indiges-
tion, constipation, dyspepsia, gout,
apoplexy, hob-nailed liver, diabetes,
brigut's disease, hardening of the ar
teries pills, powders, laxatives, pur
gatives, stimulants, cocktails, bran
dies, cordials, high-balls, headaches,
lawyers, doctors, crime, vice and dis
ease. And the climax of big-bellied suc
cess is death. For which let us be
duly thankful.
o o -
"If you want to live," said theoc
tor, "you must absolutely go to' a
warmer climate."
"Live or die, then, it's all the same,
eh, doc?" said the patient N. Y.

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