OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, April 18, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-04-18/ed-1/seq-17/

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new york fat men has certainly
teot their trubbles
T evryboddy is laffing at a bif feller
that lives up on Washington hites
He is a deacon in the church and a
ffiser in. the y. m. c. a. and he would
no more touch a drop or licker than
Jie would set fire to an orfin asylum
well, he noticed he was all the time
'getting bigger around the equator, so
he went to his dock and he asked
Ithe dock how to get rid of some of his
ummr uine aauug wuik every aay,
ys the dock, that's-the best thing i
so the next afternoon he knocked
"bff work early and got off the subway
L "TUP l.fccft- Dactora r iib-.ii.tv
I, (-' -w wiiwi nwwwiv. WWUV
.bufi rrr.J" .2?.
" uuibi4JEnDrcn r
1 about 3 miles from bis house and
LstartecT'to walk home
gee, the poor guy, the petered out
when he had gone about 2 miles, and
J he set down on a bench in a little park
to rest
when he tried to gel up and tear
off another lap, he was all in, he
couldn't even git upl off the bench .
he got part 'way' up a cuppel 'of
times, then he would Hop back
just then a little girl -came along
and she watched him a few minutes,
and then she says, ill help yon up,
why, he says, you are too little, my
dh no i ain't, says the child, ITiave
helped my pa up lots of times when
he, was a great deal drunker than
what you are
he busied out laffing, as tired as he
was, and then he Bent the little girl
after a, taxicab
when he got home he told the
storey, and now whenever any of Ills
friends see him setting down, they
hello, bill, drunk agen?
"I am inclined to suspect the so
briety of the last student In our
"Why so?"
"When I asked him what were his
favorite studies in ornithology, he re
plied, 'Swallows, bats and larks.' "
Magazine of fym.
"Bliggins is a terrible man to hunt
"What is worrying him now?"
"He is worrying about the income
taxhe will have to-payjtf he ever gets
an income big enough to be taxed."
Springfield Republican.
oo s
"Is-she good to the children?"
"Very. She lets them do everything
their father doesn't want them, to
do." Detroit Pree Press.

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