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Newspaper Page Text
' SHOOtT RE-MAM HM "FRJTCIE " J
T WAU, l KWOW A BETTER
P MKsCHeST "EU6EWE:.' .----- -
"Why don't you brush your hair?"
asked the man with the boy with the
"Ain't got no brush."
"Why don't you use your father's
"He ain't got no brush."
"No brush? Why hasn't he a
"Ain't got no hair." N. Y. World.
o o .
r 'It's your wif e,n said the office boy,
"Take the message," said the busy
"You'd better come, sir, I think,"
Stammered the embarrassed boy.
"She wants to give you a kiss over
the phone."" s
"Leaving Kelty, Monday, 22d inst,
Madame , renowned Palmist,
Crystal Gaz.er. Everybody pleased,"
-AdYertisemept in British pajper.
An old "Wee Free" woman was
walking to church in Scotland- with
her family. The Church of Scotland
minister rode past at a tremendous
rate, and the old body said to her
"SIccan a wey to be ridln', and this
the Sawbath day I Aweel, aweel, a
guid man is marcifu to hisdbeast!"
Shortly afterwards the "Wee Free"
minister rode past just as furiously,
but she changed her tone.
"Ah, there he goes!" she cried;
"there he goes the Lord bless him!
Puir man, his heart's in his work, an'
he's eager to be at it!"
There is in circulation yet another
genial s.tory about the canny Scot.
A Caledonian chieftain won a million
pins in a penny raffle at a bazaar.
Three days later he called, very wan
and weary of aspect
"See here," he said to the bazaar
secretary, "I've counted them
they're three short!"
"How are you getting on with your
neighbors across the gulch?"
"We're gettin' acquainted," replied
Three-finger Sam. "We didn't used
to notice one another an' now we're
on shootin' terms." Washington
Gibba What do you think of this
idea of counting ten before you
speak when angry?
Dlbbs WelL I know thjs, that
counting out $10 when my wife's an
gry haa a mighty soothing effects
Boston Transcript, , j
o o sj
JOY OF THE AMATEUR
"He was engaged to a charming
widow at one time." '
"Yes, and he says he will always
look back upon It as one Qf the most
delightful inexperiences he ever had."