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Newspaper Page Text
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A COAXER FOR BABY
When the doctor called to see the
baby Its -mother Informed him that
the medicine left for the Infant the
day before was all gone.
"Impossible," declared the surpris
ed physician "I told you to give him
a teaspoonful once an hour."
"Yes, but John and msther and I
and the nurse have each had to take
a teaspoonful, too, In order to get
baby to take it" Youth's Com
o o "
Figg They say that marriage is a
failure. Do you believe it?
Fogg Shouldn't wonder. The
bride never gets the best man. Bos
. o o
"I see society people at Newport
had a baby show."
"Where did they get the babies?"
"It was a loan exhibition, I helieve."
Magazine of Fun.
Mr. "Joe" Coyne tells a story about
a seedy-looking individual who got
into-conversation in a railway car
riage. "Ah, sir," he said sadly "I've seen
changes. I was once a doctor with
a lafge practice, but owing to one lit
tle slip my patients began to leave
me, and now I'm just living from
hand to mouth."
"What was the slip?" I asked.
"Well, sir," he replied, "in filling
in a death certificate for a patient
who hid died, I absent-mindedly
signed myname in the space headed
'Cause of death.' '
THE ARTLESS QUESTIdN
Phoebe was bored. In all theaix
long years of her life she had nevsr
spent such a miserable day. In short,
Phoebe nearly lifted the nursery cell
Upstairs came Phoebe's mother.
Lifting the unhappy child in her
arms, and cuddling the tear-stained
little face against her own, the moth
er walked over to the looking-glass.
"Just look, Phoebe, at the ugly lit
tle face in the looking-glass!"
Phoebe immediately became inter
ested, and stopped crying.
"Which one, mother?" she said.
A CRAFTY APPROACH
"That man must be an insidious
lobbyist," declared Congressman
"What has he done?" inquired
"He invited me to share a bottla
of grape juice with him." Pitts-
Small Tommy, out for a walk
after a shower of rain, came across a
puddle in which some oil 'had been
split, making a brilliant iridescent ef
fect "Oh, look," cried the little fellow,
Ma rainbow has burst in tto roadf