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Newspaper Page Text
Tfae Young Idea is Wise In its day
and generation. This isn't a high
brow world which is a darned good
tiing for those who-inhabit it.
There is a sound human reason for
the sporting column of a newspaper
being more popular than the editorial
department I think the baseball play
er who knocks out a home run with
the hases full makes more people
happy than the reformer who suc
ceeds in having a successful raid
made on the tenderloin. -
America's Champion Anaesthetic,
nr-r got a letter from Elbert Hubbard
the other day Elbert of the long
hair and the Fra Elbertus, bunk. It
was printed on Roycfoft paper with
Roycroft type and read like one -of
Arthur Burrage FarwelTs entirely
- lovelv tracts.
SfJ The title w& "Let Business JlWen
Co-Operate' and started off some
thing like this: "The Demagogue,
the Red Socialist, the Anarchist, theN
L W. W., the Yellow Press, the Muck
raker, are p.rvine- fnr the flpstnipMnn
lk) of the very things that have made
this jcountry supremely great-Organization
and Co-Operation. Big
Business which means., the maxi
mum of efficiency in production and
distribution is on trial for its life.
Can't we educate the world to -the
truth that organization means civil
ization, and thus stop this insane war
on enterprise and industry?"
Fraud Elbertus then goes on to
offer a trial subsqription of The Phil
tjH,e for three months for ten cents
and on the margin of the printed
page Hubbard wrote;
"Dear r. Cochran: Here Is
where I need your help.
"Elbert Hubbard." '
That "Dear -Mr. Cochran" bunk
doesn't get me at all. Hubbard
doesn't know me from a load of hay,
and I don't want to know .him. He
Snstoo much to long hair and
g Business. It was only a few
months ago 1 went into a Thompson
restaurant Qn Hajsted street to get
a banquet and saw a whole bunch 01
Philistines there for free distribution.
There was a big boost in it for
Thompson's grub founderies; and I
knew in a minute that Thompson
had handed Hubbard some coin of
the realm for the thousands of copies
he was distributing. ' -
Hubbard may think he needs my
help, but he won't get it I have no
objection to Elbert pulling down all
he can get from Big Business, but I
am neither a regular nor a volunteer
hi the army that will help him get it.
I haven't time or inclination to car
ry a message to Garcia for Fraud
Elbertus; and I don't like him, any
how. . :'
I would feet like a new member of
the Ohio legislature frorn Cincinnati
felt years ago when he saw Bill Gear
yank from his pocket to pay for a
round of drinks a roll that would
choke a horse. The Cincinnati mem
ber asked Gear where he got it
"Just sold a carload of hogs," re
plied the laconic William.
"Yes, and I'll bet I was one of 'em,"
was the sad response of the new and
inexperienced member from Hamil
I've seen enough of Elbert Hub-;
bard's activities to have a notion of
my own about how Fra Elbertus gets
his fingers' on the coii, and have a
notion as to why he is so sympath
etically interested in Big Business.
And my general impression of him
is that he consists largely of hunk,
long hair and an abiMty to pictures
quely sling the King's English into
high-sounding sentences which will
assay 2000 pounds to the ton pure
The place for Hubbard's literary
efforts is in the Hearst newspapers"
along with that of the other bunk-
Hubbard's literary efforts act
sometimes as an anaesthetic to lull
the people to sleep- just before Big
Business is about to perform an opr-'