The day book. [volume], May 09, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 6

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
The Young Idea is wise in its day
and' generation.' This isn't a high
brow world which is a -darned good
thing for those who inhabit it
There is a sound human reason for
the sporting columnpf a newspaper
being more popular than-the editorial
department I think the baseball play
er'who knocks out a home" run with
the bases full makes more people
happy than the reformer who suc
ceeds in having a successful raid
made on the tenderloin.
America's Champion Anaesthetic.
I got a letter from Elbert Hubbard
the other day Elbert of the long
hair and the Fra Elbertus bunk. It
was printed on Roycroft paper with
Roycroft type and read like one of
Arthur Burrage Farwell's entirely
iovely tracts
The title was "Let Business Men
Co-Operate," and started f6ff some
thing like this: "The Demagogue,
the Red Socialist, the Anarchist, the
L W. W., the Yellow Press, the Muck
raker, are crying for the destruction
of the very things that have made
this country supremely great Or
ganization and Co-Operation. Big
Business whichjneans the maxi
mum of efficiency in production and
distribution is on trial for its life.
Can't we educate the world to the
truth that organization means civil
ization, and thus stop this insane war
on enterprise and Industry?"
Fraud Elbertus then goes" on to
offer a trial subscription of The Phil
istine for three months for ten cents,
and on the margin of the printed
page Hubbard wrote:
"Dear Mr. Cochran: Here is
where I need your help.
"Elbert Hubbard."
That "Dear Mr. Cochran" bunk
doesn't get me at all. Hubbard
doesn't know me from a load of hay,
and I don't want to know him. He
runs too much to long hair and
Big Business. It was only a few
months ago I went into a Thompson
T restaurant on Halsted street to get
a banquet and saw a whole bunch of
Philistines therefor free distribution.
There was a big boost in it for'
Thompson's grub founderies; and I
knew in a minute that Thompson
had handed Hubbard some coin of
the realm for the thousands of copies
he was distributing.
Hubbard may think he needs my
help, but he won't get it. I have no
objection to Elbert pulling down all
he can get from Big Business, but h
am neither a .regular nor a volunteer
in the army that will help him get it
I haven't time or inclination to car
ry a message to Garcia for Fraud
Elbertus; and I don't like him, aay-
Ihow.
I would feel like a new member of
the Ohio legislature from Cincinnati
felt years ago when he saw Bill Gear
yank from his pocket to pay for a
round of drinks a roll that would
choke a horse. The Cincinnati mem
ber asked Gear where he got It.
"Just sold a carload of hogs," re
plied the laconic William.
"Yes, and I'll bet I was one of 'em,"
was the sad response of the new and
inexperienced member from Hamil
ton county. i
I've seen enough of Elbert Hub
bard's activities to have a notion of
my own about how Fra Elbertus gets
his fingers on the coin, "and have a
notion as to why he is so" sympath
etically interested in Big Business.
And my general impression of him
is that he consists largely of buhk,
long hair and an ability to pictures
quely sling the King's English into
high-sounding sentences which will
assay 2,000 pounds to the ton pure
bunk.
The place for Hubbard's literary
efforts is in the Hearst newspapers,
along with that of the other bunk
shootefs. Hubbard's literary efforts act
sometimes as an anaesthetic to lull
the people to sleep just before Big
Business, is about to perform an operation,
jjaL-ifaM yaftfi ji rftitm