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Newspaper Page Text
Customer My watch won't go.
Jeweler (examining it)' My!- My!
Have you been In a railway collision?
Customer (surprised) Why, no.
Jeweler (solemnly) When you- un
dress you should not throw yourvest
down on the floor when your watch
is jn'the pocket,
' Customer (thoughtfully) I never
do. I have been-exceedingly careful
with that watch. Don't know how it
got hurt. How long will it take you
to repair jt?
Jeweler (after another examina
tion)? You'd better leave it here at
least a week, but if you can get along
without it I would advise two weeks'
Customer Very welL Doit prop
erly. Good day!.
Jeweler (to assistant) William,
blow that speck of dust off this, wheel,
and charge up ?2 fpr repairs.
THE1 EDITORS IMPRESSION
The editor, looking over the poem,
asked the. youth who bad submitted
"Did you write this poem your
self?" "Yes, sir.' Do you like it?" the
"I think it is magnificent," said, the
editor. "Did ypu compqse it un
aided?" "I certainly did," said the young
man firmly, "I wrote every line of it
out of my own head."
The editor rose and said:
"Then, Iord Byron, I am very gla.d
to meet you. But I was under the im
pression that you had died at Mlsso
longhi a good many years ago."
LIFE'S FITFUL FEVER
"Terrible times these. The books
aren'tflt tQ read, and the plays aren't
fit to gee."
"Yes, and, as usual, my wife hasnt
a tiung fit to w.eaiv" LouisviUi
i ' .1 i i
THE VILLAGE POET
A correspondent sends word of a
poetical old shopkeeper who was al
ways doing kind things and saying
; lovely ones. I remember a spring
I when he was having his shop repaint
ed. He told the painter to leave a
! certain corner untouched for the time
i being; be explained that the young
people at that season did all their
courting there, and he didn't want
"hem to get smudgej.
i. 4"ut, oDjectea ine painter, "tnese
yOUUg iUlKb WUUVI QP IQQ1S UOl 10
know the smell of fresh paint"
j. "Young fellow," said the old shop-
I keeper, "you've never had a girl,
that's plain. If you had, you'd know
when folks are in love, everything
wet, paint included smslls llk8 vio
lets and rosea,"
.Tatron I have just been admiring
ytfur picture but what does it mean?
Artist Ah., that's it. The title is
"Tfce Mystery," Magate etJro.