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Newspaper Page Text
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SLUM CHILD'S VERSION
A well-known philanthropist wa3
giving the other day a slum child's
version of the story of the Garden of
After a few preliminary details she
"Eve ses: 'Adam, 'ave a bite?'
" 'No,' ses Adam. 'I don't want a
" 'Garn!' ses Eve. 'Garn, 'ave a
" 'I don't want a bite!' seslAdam."
The child repeated this dialogue
once or twice, her voice gradually ris
ing to a shrill 'striek.
"An' then Adam took a bite," she
finished up, dramatically. "An' the
flamin' angel come along wiv 'is
sword, an' 'e ses to 'em both: "Nah,
then ahtside!' "Tit-Bits.
AN AWKWARD REMARK
The politeness of the Japanese is
proverbial, but it sometimes slips. At
a social function a young woman
chanced to observe to an attache of
the Japanese embassy:
"In your country you compress the
women's feet, do you not?"
"No madam," responded the Jap
anese, "that is, or rather was, a Chi
nese custom. In Japan we allow our
ladies' feet to grow to their full size."
And then, after a bow, He added in
the politest of tones:
"Not that they could ever hope to
rival yours, madam."
" "The horse and the cow is in the
field,' " read the teacher. "Mary,
what is wrong with that sentence?"
Mary was evidently more versed in
the rules of politeness than in the
rules of grammar, for she answered
"The lady should be mentioned
Mr. Amsbury, the superintendent
of the penitentiary, was escorting a
party of women visitors through the
building. They entered a room where
4-three women were busily.sewing.
as mey turnea u leave uie room,
one of the visitors said: m
"What vicious-looking creatures!
What are they in for? They really
look capable of committing any
"Well," replied the superintendent,
"you see, they have no other home.
That is my private sitting-room, and
they are my wife and two daughters."
The wife of a wealthy manufactur
er had occasion to call in the help of
a new floor-polisher.
"Do you understand your business
"All I ask, madam, is that you shall
inquire for yourself at my last situa
tion. On the floor of the large drawing-room
alone five persons broke
their limbs during last winter, and a
lady slipped down the grand stab
case. It was I who polished the
floor and, the stairs." Tit-Bits,