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Newspaper Page Text
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AT A SCOTCH FUNERAL
" Teter,' said one mourner to his
neighbor at the tail of a walking
funeral, 'div ye Jamie Thompson
walking in the front, side by side wi'
the chief mourner, and him no a
drop o' blood to the corpse?'
"Fine I see him, a forward, up
settin', ambeetious body; he would be
inside the hearse if he could."
Books and Bookmen, by Ivan Mac
laren. o o
J OUGHT TO TRY IT
Little Rollo had been reproved for
his table manners by papa and mam
ma. He trained his baby stare on
mamma to ask: "When you Was a
little girl didn't y ever dip your jelly
roll in coffee?"
"No, my dear," with a tinge of
"Y'ot to try it. Gee, it's4 great!"
NOTHING TO FORGIVE
"I may seem a brute, Mabel," said
,the innocent young man, "but I ought
to tell you that last night, at your
party, your sister, promised "to marry
me. Will you forgive me for taking
"Forgive you!" replied she. "Why,
that's what the party was for!"
New York World. t
OUT OF PLACE
"Oh, my!" exclaimed the excited
woman, -who had mislaid her hus
band, "Fm looking for a small man,
with one eye."
"Well, ma'am," replied the polite
floorwalker, "if he's a very small
man, maybe you'd better use both
"General," gasped the colonel of
the Mexican federals. during.the heaf
of the battle, "we are entirely out of
"What! Entirely out o ammunli
"Yes, entirely out"
"Then cease firing." ' .