Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
-. (XKR OM,B0VS-
t .iv Jim. A coot.'
i- VN '
' SEAT OF TROUSLE t
One patient at John Hopkins Hos
pital fancied there was something the
matter with his heart. His physician
made a cursory examination, which
disclosed a large swelling ih the pa
tient's cardiac region.
"There certainly appears to-be an
extraordinary swelling right here,"
said the doctor, tapping with his fin
gers on the patieht's side. "We must
reduce this1 at once."
on the na
"Oh, doctor," he' exclaimed, "that
swelling is my pocketbdok. Please
don't reduce it too much!" Lappin
A man jJurcHaJjed ib'Sle rtdflaflnel
shirts, guaranteed hot tK shrifik.r He
reminded thet slennanfofcIbiy of the
guarantee,, sdme .weeks ,laier.
"Have yoil had any difficulty with
them?" the latter agketl.
"Have I?", repliedthe custb'riier.
"Why, the other morning, when I was
dressing, my -tfife said to niei 'John,
where did you get ttiat pink coral
riecklace? " Top-Notch.
, thesaLd He Ad
"Thi," said the chemist's assist
ant, "is a most wonderful hair re
storer. Itjs( our own preparation."
"Well, give nie a bottle," said the
baldheaded man, "But, 1 say, come
to thhik of it, why don't yoil use it?
You're pretty bald yourself."
"I qan't use it. You see, I'm the
'before usiiig. assistant.' The 'aflr
using assistant' is diit at lunch1. Yoa
Should see him!" New York World.
"What did ybd get?" said the first
burglar as his pal came but of the
"Nawthiri'," said the second bur
glar. "Elis is a lawyer's house."
"You still got yer tools, ain't you?"
anxiohsly inquired the first burglar.
N. Y. World. ,