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Newspaper Page Text
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'' doht crowd! TAKES
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NEED FOR HASTE
Hobson, who is, to say the least, a
little absent-minded, was on his way
to his own wedding when something
impeded the progress of the carriage,
which stood at a stand so long that
Hobson put his head out of the win
dow and said to the driver:
"Hurry up, or the whole thing will
be over before we get there!"
HOW TO PRO.POSE
A rather outspoken young Amer
ican was giving her opinion on re
cent alliances between scions of no
bility from her own country.
"The average titled bounder," she
said scornfully, "if he told the truth,
would drop on his knees and cry:
'Darling, I love you for your pelf
Jail Visitor You say that "a love
for books brought you here, my poor
Prisoner- Yes, mum; pocketbooks.
A SHATTERED DREAM
" A dream about a lottery caused the
cook of a middle-aged man to disre
gard the advice of her master and in
vest her savings in one of these spe
culations. A few days later the em
ployer saw to his amazement that the
ticket she had drawn had won $100,
000. He was a bachelor, she was an old
servant; it was impossible to think of
parting. He proposed and was ac
cepted, and they were married next
As they drove away from the
church he said to her:
"Well, Molly, two happy events in
one day. You have married, I trust,
a good husband. You have some
thing else first, let me ask about
the lottery prize."
Thinking her husband meant to
scold her she replied, with a sigh of
"Don't say no more about it I
thought how it would be, and that I
should never hear the last of it, so I
sold the ticket to the baker for $10."
"And do you love your neighbor as
yourself?" asked the clergyman.
The magazine editor admitted that
he did not
"Still, there are extenuating cir
cumstances," he added. "My neigh-i
bor is a poet." Judge.
"How did you feel old man, when
your first baby was born?"
"Just as though I was president."
"And how did you feel after the
"Just as though I was president
of Mexico." N. Y. World.
GOT AWAY WITH IT
"How's this?" demanded his wife.
"You were talking about jackpots and
flushes in your sleep last night."
"I er oh, yes! I triecfa gambling
case in court that day," exclaimed the
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