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Newspaper Page Text
iftMS' "wfeH"'M' JflWUpBWW?
l AM WNG To KNow "
A WONDERFUL PLACE
h farmer who lad gone to London
for the first time was walking along
the Strand. He was filling his pipe
wh n a match boy came up to him
witi his usual "Lights, sir?"
e farmer took the box from the
boi extracted a match, lit his pipe,
anf handed the box back to the as-
tos shed lad, passing on with the re
r! What a wonderful place Lon-
is, to be sure!"
A PRIZE SERVANT
certain kind of blunder is sup-
teed to be characteristically Hlber-
,n, yet this story is told 01 a
enchman. Prince Talleyrand was
ddenly wakened one night by the
ischarge of a pistol. Seeing his valet
his apartment, he asked what the
"Your highness," replied the 'man,
'there was a mouse in the room, and,
earing it might disturb your slumber,
new york. poits sertenly has a
feerce time, dont they
if they rite the kind of poitry that
they can sell, pepel say they ain't got
no artistick ideels, and if they stick
to their artistick ideels, they dont eat
at least not often enough bo they
will win any fat man's gold medals
speekin of which, I herd a comikel
storey about a poor poit the uther day
he went into a publishin offis, and
while he was setting in the outside
room waiting for the editer to get
through with his after-dinner nap,
sumboddy in the street hollered "fire"
evryboddy in the place run out
doors, even the editer woke up
bimeby the excitment was over,
fand they all come back
of corse the poit he ran out too
the poit he begun lookin all around
in the offis where he had been settin,
and the offis boy asked him had he
yes, ansered the poit, lookin very
sad, I had a packidge of poems, and
i left them, in here, and now they
seem to be gone
well, says the offis boy, you can
rite them over again, cant you
o yes, the poit replys, that part of
it is all rite, but there was a ham
sandwitch wrapped up in them
" o o '
EH? VODKA CAPACITY?
"Father, what is the Prussian
"Rye bread and beer. Be quiet
now, will you?" Buffalo Express.
o o ',
AND TO SPARE!
Jack I was just admiring Mabel's
hair, How pretty it is!
Mabel's Rival Oh, she has soma
prettier than that! ,
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Viii ...- i