Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1949 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
! C p ( wHX 'rbuTAKE oer te?aNes war
c IH"T)ERlJON'sBC1DE ER.
? '-'Os. Poor, brioe sets eatem
: or TssV -S-0P BV CER . '
BE REASONABLE, PARSON
At a small country church a newly
married couple were receiving some
advice as to their future conduct.
"You must never both get cross
at once; it is the husband's duty to
protect his wife, and a wife must love
and obey her husband and follow him
wherever he goes."
"But, sir " pleaded the young
"I haven't finished yet," remark
ed the clergyman. "She must "
"But, please, sir, can'.t you alter
,that last part?- My husband is a post
4man." ', o o
A LIVELY TIME
The other day a young woman
Lteacher took eight of her pupils
-tnrougn tne museum or natural his
tory. "Well, my boy, where did vou
"go with your teacher this after
noon?" asked the mother of one of
them on his return. With joyous
promptness, he answered, "She took
us to a dead circus," ,
PERHAPS HE MIGHT
Jones was one of those people -who
always have, or think they have,
something serious the matter with
Recently he went down to stay
with a friend at the seaside.
A few days after his arrival he was
walking along the beach with his
host, when suddenly he remarked:
"I drank a glassful of salt water
yesterday, fresh from the sea, and,
d'you know, I really think I derived
relief from it. I wonder," he added,
"do you think I might take a second
His host hesitated for a while.
"Yes," he said; "I think you might.
I don't fancy it will be missed."
A PATRIOTIC SUGGESTION
Scion of Noble House has island
for sale wild scenery and preciptous
cliffs; single gun on adjacent main
land would dominate only possible
place of disembarkation. Ideal for
colonization by suffragettes. The ad
vertiser is conservative, he would
gladly come to bargain terms with
present government or high-minded
philanthropist with country's weal at
heart. Box C-469, The Times. Adv.
in London Times..
A TECHNICAL TERM
"You do not speak to him?"
"No," replied the scholarly girl.
"When I passed him I gave him the
"The geological survey!"
"Yes. What is commonly known
as the stony stare." Washington
THE BETTER PART
"Why don't you discover a river or
something?" demanded the wife of
"Every man to his part, my dear.
We can't all be spectacular. I may
never have discovered any rivers, but
I have secured appropriations to
dredge quite a fewy-pngky