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Newspaper Page Text
Simpkins asked a few of his form
er colleagues at the bank to come,
down for a few days' shooting.
One morning they were all popping
their guns off without doing much
damage when a game warden came
up and asked to see their licenses.
To his friends' surprise Simpkins
bolted as if all the furies were at his
heels, while they discreetly retired to
"The game warden gave chase for
about a mile and a half, and then
SimpWns-came to a halt. Putting his
hand in his pocket, he produced a
license. The panting copper mopped
"What did you bolt for if you had
a license all the time?''
"Ah," said the sportsman, "you
see, my friends hadn't one."
A DIRE THREAT
At a county fair in a small inland
city several hundred men were en
gaged in holding down a large bal
loon which was rapidly being inflated
with hot air. The smallest man of
the lot looked about him nervously
and then yelled at the top of his
"Hey, come and take my place,
somebody! I've got to go!"
No one paid any attention to him.
A few moments later the little man
"If somebody don't come and take
my place right away, I'm going to let
the bid thing go Upr' Judge.
TWO AT ONE TRICK
"Let me plow this field."
"I'm canvassing this district for
congress," said the willing worker,
after finishing the field. "Do you
own this fine farm?'
'"Oh, no," replied the .other man,
Tm the candidate on the other tick
et The farmer has gone to town,
but I assured him the field would be
plowed by the time he got back."
it- "You ought to be ashamed of your
self," observede Sunday school
teacher, severely, to the small girl
who had but too obviously omitted to
rwash her face that morning. "Look
at your little brother; see how nice
and clean he is."
, ff The small girl sniffed. "Well," she
replied, "it's 'is birfday."
"Mamma," said small Sa'die one
evening, "I know what the star in
the sky are for.""
"Well, dear," responded her moth
er, "what are they for?"
"They are little holes to let the
rain through in the daytime and the
glory through at nigth."
THEN SHE DANCED
Herod had offered Salome any
thing her little heart desired.
"Votes for women!" she cried, be-
JJng strictly modern. Princeton
'"Sen . - .. -u.
Kansas City Journal.