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Newspaper Page Text
SUBLIME TO RIDICULOUS
He was enraptured -with the scen
ery. His fair companion at the coun
try resort sat upon the stone wall
"Behold that exquisite sunset!" he
exclaimed. "Note the delicate flesh
tints, the cream shades, the long
dashes of vermilion and the almost
living fire that leaps out from the
sinking sun as from a fountain. Be
hold the framework of darkening
skies and of deep green. Isn't it won
derful?" j His fair companion sighed heavily.
5 "You just bet it is!" she exclaimed.
"It looks just like a great big lobster
salad !" Lippincott's.
," o o
NEVER ANY LOST
t The ferryman, while plying over a
water which was only slightly agi
tated, was asked by a timid lady in
his boat whether any persons were
ever lost in that river.
"Oh, no," said he. "We always
finds 'em the next day."
TRIALS OF A TEACHER
Mrs. Hitch was having some trou
ble with a little fellow in her spelling
"B-e-d spells bed," she explained,
over and over again; "b-e-d, bed. Do
"Well, c-a-t spells cat, d-o-g spells
dog, and b-e-d spell What did I
tell you b-e-d spells?"
"Don't know! You don't know
what b-e-d spells after all I've told
"Well, once more, b-e-d spells what
you sleep in. Now, what do you sleep
"My drawers!" triumphantly ex
claimed the urchin.
IT WAS GONE
An Ohio farmer took his numerous
progeny to a county fair in that state.
As the party moved about the
grounds the father felt his fourth
born tugging at his coat-tails. He
turned and the youngster begged him
to buy a certain toy.
"Buy it yourself," said the father.
"Where's the dime I gave you a lit
tle while ago?"
"It's down my neck."
"Well, shake it out."
"But, father," protested the lad.
"I can't It was in my mouth when
it went down." Youth's Companion.
"When I was a boy," writes Strick
land GDliland, "I sent away my only
dime in Augusta, Maine, for a pen
knife, a package of hidden name
cards, a book of parlor magic, a rolled
gold ring and a brass flute.
"The thing I wanted was the flute.
"I have never heard any better
music than I made then. I don't
know much about music When I
hear a dog howling while some one
plays the piano I always feel like ask
ing the piano to stop so I can hear the
dog better." New York Mafl,