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Newspaper Page Text
V IT" '
PLENTY? DCfVS ARJNNV TlTL.
iY 3JOTES 3XSS VtaMAfJ
- iPRfiseKJT "PLEHTY 9
A GENTLE PROTEST
' "A very mild north of England vicar
had for some time been displeased
with the quality of milk served him.
At length he determined to remon
strate with his milkman for supplying
i. I such weak stuff. He began mildly:
Tve be.en wanting to see you in
regard to the quality of milk with
wjiich you are serving me."
v"Yes, sir," uneasily answered the
"I onlv wanted to say," continued
J the minister, "that I use the milk for
dietary purposes exclusively, and not
STILL IN PRACTICE
f'Did you catch any fish this morn-
V'Well, you are truthful, anyway,
,which can't be said of all fishermen."
"As to that, perhaps you might
have called them fish, but I wouldn't.
-The bieerest one onlv weiehed 12
A young fellow, the son of a weal
thy man, was engaged in some cler
ical capacity by a friend of his father
in order to try and make something
of him. He was, however, shiftless
to the last degree, and nothing he
said could be relied upon.
One day his employer called him
into his private office and gave him
a, sound lecture. He dwelt chiefly on
his prevarication and wound up by
saying: "You know, James, that you
are always lying."
"Sir," said James, "I would have
you remember that I am a gentle
"There you go again," said his em
ployer. o o
Young Albert was a practical
youth and everything that he learned
at school he endeavored to apply in
his daily life and work.
The lad recently become very
friendly with a little boy who had
recently moved in that vicinity and
one afternoon his mother asked him
if his little playmate was an only
child. Whereupon Albert looked very
wise and triumphant.
"He's got just one sister," he said.
"He tried to catch me"when he told
me he had ,two half-sisters, but I
guess I know enough about fractions
for that." Harper's Magazine.
A young lady took down the re
ceiver and discovered that the tele
phone was in use. "I just put on a
pan of beans for dinner," slie heard
one woman complacantly informing
She hung up the receiver and wait
ed. Three times she waited, and
then, exasperated, she broke into the
"Madam, I smell your beang burn
ing," she announced crisply. A hor
rified scream greeted the remark, and
the young lady was able to put in her.
call, Christian Endeavor Jlerakli