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Newspaper Page Text
A DIRECT QUESTION
At a re-union of the Adains family
Lthe chicken croquettes gave out, so
.the maids carefully neglected the
pyounger children. After vainly try
ing to attract the attention of his
mother, one of the little boys at the
lower end of the table called out in
a loud one of voice, "Mother!"
"What is it, Albert?" she replied.
"Do you think," went on the child,
,"I should have liked the croquettes
if I had one?" Lippincott's.
o o "
An "Uncle Tom's Cabin" company
was starting to parade in a small
New England town when a big gan
der from a farmyard near at hand
waddled to the middle of the "street
and began to hiss.
One of the double-in-brass actors
turned toward the fowl and angrily
"Don't be so dern quick to jump at
conclusions. Wait till you see the
" THE DIRECT ROUTE
At a recent banquet a detective1
was relating his strange adventures
to Mayor Nye of Minneapolis.
"That typewriter," said the detec
tive, "was a hummer. She pulled a
gun out of her muff, shot the poor
old banker in the abdomen, and then
she says to him, 'Do you love me
now?' There, Mr. Mayor, what do
you think of that?"
"Quite right," Mayor Nye replied
"Quite right The way to a man's
heart is always through his stom
ach." o o i
NOT AN EVEN BREAK
Rex and Tommy had been inat
tentive the whole morning, and the
teacher said that each must write his
name 200 times as a punishment.
Presently, when the rest of the class
had gone home, Tommy was found,
"It's not fair," he sobbed; "Rexs
has only got to write Rex Dun 200
times, but my name's Thomas;
r 0 o ,
MORE FRUGAL AT MEALS
Stout Lady (watching the lions be
ing fed) 'Pears to me, mister, that
ain't a very big piece o' meat for sech
a big animal
Attendant (with show of polite
ness) I s'pose it does seem like a
little meat to you, ma'am, but it's
enough for the lion.
The Disgusted Golfer Have you;
ever seen such rotten play?
The Weary Caddie (who had cad
died three days for only his bare
wage) No, sir, but I've read of it in
the comic papers.
THEN HE FAINTED
He My dear, all the baggage and
parcels are always thrust bn me as
though I were a porter. I tell you, I
am sick of it!
She Have you got the grip?
- J. i