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Newspaper Page Text
A 6-year-old had been given a large
Teddy bear as a birthday present. It
was a very fine bear, but had a pro
The owner was hard put to it to
find a name sufficiently descriptive
for her new toy. At last she solved
the difficulty to her own satisfaction,
and christened the animal "Gladly."
Questioned as to the reason for
such an extraordinary name for a
,beart she quoted as her authority the
line in a well-known hymn, which
r she rendered thus, "Gladly, my cross
peye bear!" Top-Notch.
His Fiancee Papa will make his
settlement the same day we are mar
ried, the nineteenth.
The Count Come, dear, let us get
married on the seventeenth.
His Fiancee Is that the anniver
sary of some great historical event
in your family?
The Count No; but I have a note
due the eighteenth. Puck.
say. we dor ia dotr-? u .
ER AQAlt). OER WST J &M0 $"
p. OCXSr E WASS ASLEEP om
CtK. BO I TO fcWfERJ
i ?TiMP SSM
DEFINING A FIEND
Some time ago a police officer
named Mike had two or three arrests
to his credit, and on the following
morning he appeared in the magis
trate's court to make the usual com
plaints. "And this man here, officer," said
the magistrate, finally getting down
to a certain party, "what is the
charge against him?"
"Sure, your honor," was the rath
er surprising reply of Mike, "he is a
camera fiend of the worrust koind."
"A camera fiend!" hastily rejoined
the magistrate. "You should not ar
rest a man simply because he has
a mania for taking pictures."
"Begora, an' he wasn't takin pic
tures, yer honor," declared the offi
cer. "He was takin' cameras."
SHE WAS WISE
A young Lancashire mill-worker
had a mental relapse which resulted
in his being sent to the county asy
lum. "Hallo, Benny!" said a visitor,
"how's tha gettin' on?"
"Oh, Ah'm goin' on first rate, thank
ye," answered the afflicted one.
"Ah'm very glad to hear it, lad,"
said the visitor pleasantly. "I suppose
you'll be comin' back to work soon,
"Wot!" exclaimed Ben. "Leave a
big house and a grand garden like
this to coom back tovork! Mon,
dost tha think Ah'm wrong in my
AS RUTH SAW IT
Of course, little Ruth should have
been able to answer more precisely
when teacher asked her to describe
a frog. But she gave a description
that at least is picturesque when she
"A frog, teacher, is a big green
bug with warts all over it. And it
keeps its mouth open all the time,
and and and it's always sitting
down behind and and standing up