The day book. [volume], October 20, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 19

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
" 'Joe,' he'd say, 'things Is going
from bad to worse. That Mrs. Tufton
is a-running my place and spoiling
my gal, and I'm pretty 'well through
with it "What would you advise?"
"Between them they hatched up a
scheme. They formed the 'Give 'Elm
What They Want' club. And that's
how we got Manor Grange back to
plain Piketown.
"Next time the hounds met half the
village was at the meet, a-bobbing
and a-touching their hats to Mrs.
Tufton and the gentry. It was 'Yes,
ma'am,' and 'No, ma'am' every min
ute. And the minute they let the
tame fox out of the bag Joe Edson
sets a tin trumpet to his lips and hol
lers 'Gone away!' like they do in the
story books.
"When the hunt come home there
was all Piketown lined up on each
side of the feudal castle, a-bobbing
and a-curtsying as Mrs. Tufton and
her followers swept past. Mrs. Tuf
ton looked a little worried; I guess
she had begun to catch on to the
game, though she didn't know it was
Uncle Josh had set it.
"After that, whenever Mrs. Tufton
appeared in the village the girls and
young fellows would stand at the
dors, bobbing and scraping at her.
We were giving her what she wanted.
"But that wasn't enough. Joe Ed
son had an idea which he set before
Uncle Josh.
'"What they haven't got, but
wants, is an aristocracy,' he said.
'Can't we rake up a few dukes and
earls in Piketown, Josh?'
"That idea seemed good, and at the
next meeting of the club titles was
bestowed. Uncle Josh couldn't take
none, being a sort of traitor from
Mrs. Tufton's camp, but Joe Edson
made himself the duke of Chicken
Hollow. Jim Bates, the liveryman,
was christened an earl, and hung
out a shield with a horse rampant on
it Tom Biggar, the saloon man, be
came the Viscount Schoonersuds,
and we gave Sam Higginson a title
also.
"Then the fun began fast and
quick. Next time the hunt met there
was our aristocracy at the meet,
wearing crowns, which Bill Smith,
the blacksmith, had made out of old
horseshoes and had gilded for us.
When Mrs. Tufton saw what was
happening she turned pale.
"Jim Bates steps forward, gallant
like, with a bow, and holds her stir
rup. fc'What do you mean, you insolent
fellow?' screams Mrs. Tufton.
"Jim Bates takes off his crown and
bows with dignity. 'May it please
your ladyship, I'm the earl of Heaves,'
he answers.
"Mrs. Tufton stares about her. The
duke of Chickenr Hollow was on one
knee, trying not to let on his rheu
matics was paining him, and VIscdunt
Schoonersuds was holding out a
frothing beaker of beer, which he got
from the ten-cent store and filled.
" "Will your ladyship please to take
a stirrup-cup before parting?' he in
quired, humble-like. -
"Mrs. Tufton stares about her. The
only persons who had stayed was Un
cle Josh and Polly Pickering, and I
guess Polly's eyes had suddenly got
opened, because she was setting bolt
upright on her' horse and her face
was dead white. . '
" Joshua Pickering; will you tell
me whether all the village has gone
mad?' screams Mrs. Tufton.
"Josh, who had been indulging in a
surreptitious chaw, slips his quid out
of his mouth and reins in his" mus
tang. Then he sees that it's now or
never for liberty.
" 'Baron Pickering, if you please,
ma'am,' he answers, trying not to
tremble. 'Baron Pickering of of Ter
backer Moat.' Which was the best
Josh could think of at the time.
" 'And isn't there anybody here will
teach these insolent fellows a les
son?' cried Mrs. Tufton. The poor
woman was nearly crazy and she'd
caught on at last
" 'I will says Sam Higginson, step
ping up. He'd got a funeral plume
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