Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
iwukimi hi if i '
V Youi! )
T I BUSINESS IS BUSINESS
, --H A young suburban doctor, whose
BUSINESS IS BUSINESS
A young suburban doctor, whose
practice was not very great, sat in
his study reading away a lazy after
noon in early summer. His man serv
ant appeared at the door.
"Doctor, them boys Is stealin' your
green peaches again. Shall I chase
The doctor looked thoughtful a
moment, then leveled his eyes at the
"No," he said.
"S-B-s-s-sus-say, ma," stammered
Bobby, through the suds as his moth
er scrubbed and scrubbed him. "I
guess you want to get rid o' me,
"Why, no, Bobby dear," replied his
mother. "Whatever put such an idea
Into your mind?"
"Oh, nuthin'," said Bohby, "only
it seems to me you're tryin' to rub
me out" Onward. 1
A retired clergyman tells a good
joke at his own expense. He was ac
customed to officiate frequently as
a vacation supply in a suburban
church. One Sunday, after service,
an old lady, the housekeeper In the
home of a friend, spoke to him.
"I want to tell you, sir," she saidk
"how much I enjoy going to church,
on the days when you preach."
The clergyman replied that he was
very much gratified. l
"Oh, sir," she added, with an ap
palling candor, "I get such a good
seat then!" New York World.
"I will go to Berlin," Bays the Czar,
"if it costs the. life of every soldier
in my empire"!"
"I will defend the Fatherland," says
the Kaiser, "so long as I have a sub
"You go right hack," a great edi
tor is alleged to have phoned to a re
porter whose life had been threaten
ed by an irate person whom he had
interviewed. "You go right back and
tell that man he can't intimidate me!"
N. Y. Sun.
THE WOMAN FOR HIM
"Why are you so pensive?" he"
"I'm not pensive," she replied.
"But you haven't said a word foj;
"Well, I didn't have anything to
"-"Don't you ever say anything when
you have nothing to say?"
"Will you be my wife?"
HER DREAM COMES TRUE
Mrs. Golightly What do you'
think, my dear? Such luck! Wo
leave for Paris In an hour!
Mrs. Treadwell Really?
Mrs. Golightly Yes; we're going
to Pasteur's. My husband has just
been bitten by a mad dog. Club-