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Newspaper Page Text
3 BEFKRDOM, aivS5" "s.
j U7wrtY this wcous k
X JsUUOHT on Yon . v
A rKOFFENOlNS STAKE? 3
I Two gentlemen were walking
along a highway near a railroad. One
of them was exceedingly hard of
hearing. Along came a train, and the
locomotive emitted an ear-splitting
"iTm!" said the deaf man, "that's
the first robin I've heard this spring."
ON THE HOME TRACK
"Dad, I was simply great in the re
lay events," boasted the boy from
"That's fine, son! well make use
of them talents. Your ma win soon
ready to relay the carpets." Penn
"Jimmy," said his boss, "file these
An hour later jimmy saw to the
"You told me to file these letters,
air, but wouldn't it do just as well if
I trimmed them off with the shears?'
A certain youngster in Washington
was one day suffering greatly by rea
son of an aching tooth. His mother
was endeavoring to calm him against
the necessary visit to the dentist.
"You'll have it out, won't you,
dearie?" the mother pleaded. "It
won't hurt much, and then the ache
will be over."
But then the unhappy child began
to howl with pain. His brother, a
year older was likewise distressed,
and added his pleadings to those of
"Do have it out, dear," repeated
the mother. v
"Yes, Dick, have it out," added the
brother. "It will be one less to clean,
you know." Ldppincott's.
Kitty (to her mother) Mr. Spoon
er knows that my face is all the for
tune I possess.
Willie Yes, ma, and when I sneak
ed into the parlor he was trying his
best to get at her fortune. San
ON THE VERANDA V
"I love the bunny hug I"
"I don't knew it," said the young
man regretfully, "but I'm a bear at
the plain, 'old-fashioned variety."
Andthen the moon considerately
withdrew behind a cloud.
A POWERFUL PERCH
Mrs. Angler Are you sure yotf
caught this fish?
Mr. A. Sure!
Mrs, A. It smells very strong.
Mr: A. Strong! I Bhould say it
was! .It nearly pulled me overboard!
HE COULD TELL
Payton Why are you so sure that
is a New York baby? She can't
Parker No, but she can lisp
"Dough-dough," "Car-car" an4