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Newspaper Page Text
LOCAL COLOR ""
A certain fiction writer applied to a
friend, an interne in a hospital, for
some local color for a tale he had
based upon an occurrence in such an
The interne couldn't think of any
thing of moment, but the writer jog
ged his memory thus:
"Surely you know of some real
istic bit here that I could use."
"I have it!" suddenly exclaimed the
"Yes,", eagerly came from the
. "Here is realism with a vengeance,"
said the youthful interne. "One of
our patients walked in his sleep be
cause he dreamed he had no car
fare." Pittsburgh Telegraph.
"Where do you want this adver
"Next to pure football matter, if
convenient," said the advertiser,
"but, anyhow, as far from the war
poetry as possible." Judge,
jT- BUT I SUBoSE
S 3gR! LAW HAC&lo'Be. J
WINNING PLATFORM v
" 'Twas in the year 1936.
"Mrs. Sloopety for Mayor!" cried
the female orator. "She'll make a
peach of a Mayor!"
. "Naw!" growled the densely packed
hallful of men. "We don't want a
"She's strong as the deuce for a
city beautiful," pleaded the speaker.
"Naw!" came the unanimous roar.
"She'll be a bear for civic right
eousness." "Now! Now!"
"She'll insist on every wife in this
fair city allowing her husband to
smoke in the parlor."
" 'Ray for Sloopety!" shouted the
vast concourse. "Sloopety forever
and for Mayor." Detroit Free Press.
PLAYING FAIRLY SAFE.
Some time ago the keeper of a
museum was engaged in placing
some new curios that had just ar
rived from Egypt when he noticed
the. perplexed look of his attendant.
"What's the matter, Smith?" he
queried, going to the assistant. "13
there antyffing you don't under
stand?" "Yes," answered Smith. "Here is
a papyrus on which the characters
are so badly traced that they are in
decipherable. How shall I class it?"
"Let me see," returned the keep
er, examining the curio. "Just call
it a doctor's prescription in the time
of Pharaoh." New York Globe.
A STRANGE PLANT
The hostess asked the solid man
of her guest list to take a talkative
young womSn in to dinner. The girl
did her best to keep up the conversa
tion, ranging from Wall street to the
Mexican War and back. Only once
did the solid man desert the unfailing
affirmative, and that was when she
"Do you like Bethoven's works?"
"Never visited them," he replied.
"What does he manufacture?''
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