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FJeajp Wfr ejssgr ..Q LOCAL COLOR "" A certain fiction writer applied to a friend, an interne in a hospital, for some local color for a tale he had based upon an occurrence in such an institution. The interne couldn't think of any thing of moment, but the writer jog ged his memory thus: "Surely you know of some real istic bit here that I could use." "I have it!" suddenly exclaimed the interne. "Yes,", eagerly came from the writer. . "Here is realism with a vengeance," said the youthful interne. "One of our patients walked in his sleep be cause he dreamed he had no car fare." Pittsburgh Telegraph. TO o HIS PREFERENCE "Where do you want this adver tisement run?" "Next to pure football matter, if convenient," said the advertiser, "but, anyhow, as far from the war poetry as possible." Judge, jT- BUT I SUBoSE S 3gR! LAW HAC&lo'Be. J WINNING PLATFORM v " 'Twas in the year 1936. "Mrs. Sloopety for Mayor!" cried the female orator. "She'll make a peach of a Mayor!" . "Naw!" growled the densely packed hallful of men. "We don't want a woman Mayor." "She's strong as the deuce for a city beautiful," pleaded the speaker. "Naw!" came the unanimous roar. "She'll be a bear for civic right eousness." "Now! Now!" "She'll insist on every wife in this fair city allowing her husband to smoke in the parlor." " 'Ray for Sloopety!" shouted the vast concourse. "Sloopety forever and for Mayor." Detroit Free Press. o o PLAYING FAIRLY SAFE. Some time ago the keeper of a museum was engaged in placing some new curios that had just ar rived from Egypt when he noticed the. perplexed look of his attendant. "What's the matter, Smith?" he queried, going to the assistant. "13 there antyffing you don't under stand?" "Yes," answered Smith. "Here is a papyrus on which the characters are so badly traced that they are in decipherable. How shall I class it?" "Let me see," returned the keep er, examining the curio. "Just call it a doctor's prescription in the time of Pharaoh." New York Globe. A STRANGE PLANT The hostess asked the solid man of her guest list to take a talkative young womSn in to dinner. The girl did her best to keep up the conversa tion, ranging from Wall street to the Mexican War and back. Only once did the solid man desert the unfailing affirmative, and that was when she asked: "Do you like Bethoven's works?" "Never visited them," he replied. "What does he manufacture?'' Pittsburg Telegraph. I M:&fa&i$ii irt .."', , 'jtgfcyifritm-ii j. . af.tAjij.T- , .