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Newspaper Page Text
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And why did she make no comment
"when her angelic companion -withdrew
his arm, by way of silent rebuke
for such astonishing familiarity?
Doggone it, this thing has got to
stop. We male men have a tough
enough time of it as. itis explaining
things to our beloved wives. 'Why
can't we get along innocently, dis
cussing Dante's Inferno, and enjoy
ing a ramble in the park, without a
female woman grabbing us by the
Why should the female of the spe
cies commit such deadly assault and
battery on one of us, simply because
she had us in a park?
Can't we enjoy the beauties of na
ture, the glorious, melodious moon
light, the shrubbery, grass, alfalfa
and scenery, without being dragged
from our dream by such a rude fem
Gol dern it, why won't the remorse
less females let us males alone? And
especially if we happen to be preach
ers, and love literature, and art? Why
grab our arm? Why intrude such
gross sensuality on our pure
Can't we have a law passed mak
ing females keep their distance?
But, just suppose Marion had grab
bed his left hind leg!
A Funny Little King. That speech
of King George to parliamnt was
. enough to make a wooden Indian
ugh. It was full of I, My and Mine,
as if the English king really owned
something and cut some ice. He
spoke of "my" army and navy, "my"
Musselman subjects, "my" empire,
The truth is that Great Britain is
about as democratic as this republic
and King George and his whiskers
do whatever parliament tells them
Georgie hasn't as much power as
the president of the United States.
He draws his salary and his breath.
He goes through the form of makinpr
a speech to parliament, but he makes
the speech he is ordered to make by
the real government which con
sists just now largly of Asquith and
In England a king is a good deal
like a vermiform appendix. Nobody
knows what It's for, but everybody
is used to having it around. When
it gets inflamed they cut it out
"TRIB THE TRAILER."
Editor Day Book Judging from
the fact that on Wednesday morn
ing every paper except the Tribune
came through with the McKinney
Weigle story, that The Day Book
scooped all the trust' press on the
day before, the Trib must have been
trying to "Weigle" out of the story.
Hence this little piece of so called
The Trib waited 'round on the L.
For somebody else to begin it.
And then, after all of the papers in
Came through, they were forced
to get in it.
It puts me in mind, just because it's
Now I hope they'll not call me "as-
Of the trolley that's hooked on the
And is commonly known as the
J. F., Congress St.
A MAN'S VIEWPOINT
Editor Day Book This hysterical
"screeching" that has been going the
rounds lately in regard to would-be
street car "mashers" is enough to
make any clean-minded-mind-your-own
business man "awfully tired," to
say the least. "Oh, the wretch tried
to flirt with me!!!" these sensation
loving women cry. How do they
know "he tried to flirt with them?"
If the women modest women
i-i'-ld keep their eyes where they be
long they wouldn't see "the horrid
.. XiH r.gti.