Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1949 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
.JretL.DOTs fcER POINT. LOOK VOT HE
fr T& T3ER AUSTRIANS AT AUSTfcRLrTZ, b
r JEM A, AT UIAGRANV. OU'T S
rt)U REMEMBER DCSE '
Owing to the shallowness of a cer
tain harbor the ships trading to and
from it have to be built with a light
draught. Commenting on the fact
one day a facetious individual re
marked to the skipper of a steamer:
"I reckon, captain, you would
think nothing of running .your ship
-across a meadow on a dewy night?"
"Nothing at all," came the reply;
"though to make sure I might send
a man ahead with a watering can."
Teacher of Hygiene Why must we
always be careful to keep our houses
clean and neat?
Little Girl Because company may
walk in at any moment Judge.
THOUGHT IT MENTAL-'
"The dentist told me that I had a
large cavity that needed filling."
"Did he recommend any special
courae of study?" Pen State Froth.
"Wake up, cull!" says the burglar,
shaking the man by the shoulders.
The man wakes up, and jumps up,
too, says Judge's Library.
"Wha-what do you w-a-want?" he
"I went tro dis house las' week an'
got $10 an' a bum gold watch," ex
plains the burglar, "an de papers said
dat you said your loss was $100 an'
joolry to the amount o' five or six
"Well, make good, sport Me part
ner dat was watchin' on de outside
made me cough up de difference be
tween what I got an' what you said
I got. Now you got to make good.
You can't beat me dat way." New
York Evening World.
"No," said the old gentleman,
sternlyt "I will not do it. Never-have
I sold anvthins bv false representa
tions, and I will not begin now. It is
an inferior grade of shoe, and 1 will
never pass it off as anything better.
Mark it 'A Shoe Fit for a Queen,' and
put it in the window. A queen does
not have to do much walking."
Kl-Yl! -THEY stf THO
IS A U6HTWING "BUS, BUT
T rvui'T zttr lilHFOt IT
VAS STRUCKl (
i -- i rii ii 1 ' ' WL-