OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, December 23, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-12-23/ed-1/seq-17/

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Kflft I I FRIEND HOVES
!r r -n
AN ADMISSION
Lawyer (to timid young -woman)
Have you ever appeared as wit
ness in a suit before?
Witness Y-yes. sir, of course.
Lawyer Please state to the jury
just what suit it was.
Witness It was a nun's veiling,
shirred down the front and trimmed
with a lovely blue, and hat to
match
Judge (rapping violently) Order
in the court!
o o-
ERASING ROBERT
"S-s-s-sus-say, ma," stammered
Bobby through the suds, as his moth
er scrubbed and scrubbed him. "I
guess you want to get rid o' me,
don't you?"
"Why, no, Bobby, dear," replied
fhis mother. "Whatever put such an
idea into your mind?"
"Oh, nuthin'," said Bobby. "Only
it seems to me you're tryin' to rub
me out" Onward.
NAPOLEON'S RETREAT
In the sixth grade the teacher
was questioning a boy about Napo
leon's disastrous invasion of Russia
and the subsequent retreat from
Moscow.
"What did the French do then?"
she asked.
"They ran away," replied the boy.
"Yes, that is what they did," said
the teacher, "but 'ran away' is hardly
the correct phrase to use. What
should you have said?"
The boy's face, lighted up with un
derstanding. "They beat it!" he exclaimed,
quite proudly.
PERFORMANCE WANTED
Freddie Are you the trained
nurse mamma said was coming?
Nurse Yes, dear! I'm the trained
nurse.
Freddie Let's see some of your
tricks, then!
c o
A DEFENDER
"Here, boys ! What's the trouble ? "
"That kid said you was a bum doc
tor and the old medicine you gave
wouldn't hurt anyhow."
Well?"
"And I said it would too!" t- '
-
m
. j.,
rttjC-i'-y' -'' fi-a--.shj

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