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Newspaper Page Text
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The man in the automobile duster
and goggles confronted an artist
painting a picture by the roadside.
"Say," said the motorist. "I'll give
you $5 for that picture, just as it is.
Don't put another stroke to it."
"I am really very flattered by your
offer," replied the artist, "but why
not wait until the picture is finish
ed'" "Can't I need the canvas to mend
a busted tire with." New York
SUPPRESSING THE EVIDENCE
"I honestly b'lieve," remarked
4 Aunt Sarah Jane, "them Oldhams is
lgitten to be regular agnostics. They
don't keep the family bible on the
center table in the best room no
"Well," replied Aunt Ann Eliza,
" 'tisn't their religion they're hiding.
It's their age. Them Oldham girls is
getting on." ,
"But she says she has never given
you any encouragement."
"Did she say that?"
"She certainly did."
"She told me that her uncle was
going to leave her a fortune and that
he had one foot in the grave. If that
is not encuragement I'd like to know
what you call it." Houston Post.
"How's the baby?" asked the
neighbor of the new father.
"Fine!" said the proud parent.
"Don't you find that a. baby bright
ens up a household wonderfully?"
pursued the friend.
"Yes," said the parent with a sigh;
"we have the gas going most of the
"Beware the flowing bowl, my son.
quaff not too freely, or it will steal
away your brains."
"Do you mean it will make me
"Exactly. That is illuminating
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