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Newspaper Page Text
UWMJW. u A GENIUS At a matinee. Said the first damsel to her com panion, between chocolates: "Don't you just love his English? Isn't it fine? It is always like that In everything he plays, he always has that beautiful English! Why, even in Shakespeare I saw him in 'Julius $Caesar' and 'Othello' his English was beautiful!" New York Evening Sun. ASSURED Librettist That's a great chorus they have In the new show at the Calcium theater. Critic Yes. I knew it would be a success before the curtain had gone up two feet. o o NO PRIVACY "Want to leave me, Mary? I thought L'you were quite comfortable. What is it for something private .' "No, ma'am; it's a sergeant," WASTE OF MEN His Wife This paper says an ar my of one hundred thousand men has wrecked a railroad in Belgium. Railroad Magnate What a waste of energy! A board of five directors could have done it just as thoroughly. Life. NILLY WILLY "Did you have any regular sched ule when you went on your motor ing tour? "Oh, no; we just naturally stopped wherever the car happened to have its breakdown." Judge. o o ONE PROMINENT FEATURE "Is he a manly man one of those fellows who stands out?" "I guess so, father. Anyway, his ears do." o o ITS UTILITY "Well, boy, you've gone and trap ped a chipmunk. But what's the use of a dead chipmunk?" "Oh, not much use. Except it's good to carry around and see how many fool questions get asked about it."