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Newspaper Page Text
N&z yy5L BVAExn est nsn.
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REASON FOR SPEED
Rankin Beanbrough has bought
I himself a five-thousand-dollar racing-
Phyle But he couldn't afford one
worth half that amount
Rankin That's -why he bought it
He wants something that can go fast
enough to keep away from the col
A DANGEROUS PAUSE
A judge in remanding' a criminal
called him a scoundrel. The prisoner
replied, "Sir, I am not as big a scoun
drel as your honor" here the culprit
f stopped, but finally added "takes
me to be.
"Put your words closer together,"
said the judge. Argonaut.
THE TIE THAT BINDS
Wife I am a bundle of nerves!
Hubsnda 'Well, so long as the
(.string doesn't break you will be all
right, my dear! Fun.
AN EXPENSIVE SEAT
"Yes," said a statesman at Wash
ington, "I quit drinking and went on
the water wagon; but I had to fall off
again it was too expensive."
"Too expensive!" said a friend.
"Why, I thought it worked the other
"Oh, no," replied the stateman. "It
was too expensive? Why, after I had
been on the wagon for a time I felt
so good I actually had to spend mon
ey for breakfast a meal I never ate
in my drinking days; so I figured that
was an unnecessary expense and
went back to the old life to escape it"
Saturday Evening Post
Maud Is Jack a -talkative young
Marie Not on the subject a girl
naturally expects to hear from one
who's been keeping company with
her for two years.
TIT FOR TAT
"Look here, son, you have no busi
ness playing with something that was
not made for you !"
"Well, father, then you quit play
in' with my toy train. That waaat
made for you, either." '