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Newspaper Page Text
Jl """'yARIED IMDUSTOESj.
ffi I WtoSSetE-HE NEVER
" 5rSf ARTTS? NOCfMNCe! iMfJUTT )
I?1 W V VEREFER T)ER UPLIFT IS3,
"Ah, squire," saluted the village
bore. "What are you doing for your
rheumatism these days?"
"Examining the doctors, one after
another," snarled the old codger, "to
see how much they don't know."
Alice Weren't you surprised when
. Betty I made him think Iwas.
St Louis Globe.
"They tell me you have had some
iLmoney left you," said Bloom.
"Yes," replied Smith, "it left me
Tommy Papa, what is it that the
Bible says is here today and gone
In one of the suburbs of Belfast
trade was dull and the chief grocer in
the district found his earnings. be-t
coming smaller day by day. One
morning an old customer entered. In.
expectation of something good, the
grocer Jumped up from his seat and,
rubbing his hands, said, "Well, mis-,
sus, what can I get you?"
"A ha'pennyorth o' soap," was the ,
"Oh," said the disgusted grocer,
"yell be for washing the canary tci
A MATERIAL NOTE
Vicar (his mind full of the recruit
ing posters) Wilt thou take this
woman to be thy wedded wife for
three years or for the duration of the
war? London Punch.
TO MAKE 'EM "BIGHT"
"What are you going' to call your
stock company?" '
'Teninsula, because it's almost en-.
tirely surrounded by water." Phil
NOTICE TH YOUNCj
LRDY DAT GIVES
ALL HER ENERGY
Papa Probably 4iArmj,on,