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Newspaper Page Text
C ISS GLASS. UNO DCR.
A GENUINE HERO
Muggins That little shrimp does
not look like a hero, does he?
Buggins Great Scott! no! What
has he ever done? ,
Muggins He's been married six
. times. Philadelphia Record.
i PASSED THE CRISIS.
"Well Sam, has your married life
impressed you seriously yet?"
"It mote hev been mo' se's, sah, if
de flat-i'on she done throwed at me
hadn't glanced off like." Louisville
Old Lady (meeting two little boys)
Why, Johnnie, how very dirty you
are! How is it that your little broth
er is so much cleaner than you are?
Johnnie Wei, you see, he's three
years younger. x
POULTRY FANCIER .
"Jimsy tells me he is going to mar
ry a girl on the stage. He has fallen
in love with a broiler."
"Jimsy always was chicken-hearted."
BUT NOTTHE COJJ
Mrs. Hemmandhaw Have yoo"
seen "Quo Vadis"?
Mrs. Shimmerpate-No, and J don't
think I care to see such slangy plays.
Mrs. Hemmandhaw There isn't a
word of slang in it.
Mrs. Shimmerpate That's odd;
ever since the children saw it the
last time it was nere they have been
talking about Ursus throwing the
bull Youngstown Telegram.
"This ought to be an interesting
story. It is entitled 'A Thousand
Miles Prom a Phonograph.' "
"I don't see how anybody could
get that far away from a phono
graph without going straight up."
AN ECONOMIC VIEW
Uncle Si Look here, grandson, I
ain't got no objection to you playin'
circus with th' livestock, but next
time instid o' usin that onery old
mewl fer a zebra I wisht you'd turn.
him inter a leopard or somethin' that
don't consume much hay!