Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1943 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
P2.5: UfcO xjOTOoeslHIS FINS ISN'T
AOOLPH NOSD MT( R41D H6 MUST
FOR APPEARANCE SAKE
One day Pat appeared on. the
street with a huge tear in his coat
"Look here, Pat," protested a
friend, "why don't you get that hole
"Not Oi, sor," sad Pat, "a hole may
be the result of an accident, but a
patch is a sure sign of poverty."
Ladies' Home Journal.
She (passing confectioner's win
dow) Doesn't that candy look
He Uh-huh. Let's stand here and
look at it awhile. Pennsylvania
" Bjones Don't you think a talka
tive woman is more popular with the
men than any other kind.
Henpecket What other kind is
Boarding-house Mistress. What
part of the chicken do you wish?
Freshman Some of the meat,
please. Pennsylvania Punch BowL
. ALERTNESS REQUIRED
' An old Scotch lady was noticed by
her minister to fall asleep every time
he preached, whilst when young men
from St. Andrews University acted as
substitutes for him she remained
awake and was most attentive.
The minister one day demanded an
explanation of her conduct, and she
"Weel, meenister, I ken the Word
of God is safe in your hands; but
when the young fellows from St. An
drews come along, it takes me all my
time to watch them."
A celebrated violinist was in a
motor car accident one day. A paper,
after recording the accident, said:
"We are happy to state that he was
able to appear the following evening
in three pieces."
AT THE BENCH SHOW
"Come, Reginald, we have seen all
there is to see, so let's go home."
"No, I don't wanna go! I ain't seen
all the dogs I wanna see."
"But what dog haven't you seea
"A hot dog."
4eiteAatoAAa, AA!Mat t-YJffr--