Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1756-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
1 TANK YCV, BUT S iVHSfce WOULT YOU ) L BURY IT ; S s- - 1$ BACK.y H v2y .H ffT M 1 IN HIS LINE Mrs. Timkins was taking her son to school for the first time, and after impressing the schoolmagler with the necessity of his having a thorough education, finished up by saying: "And be sure he learns Latin: "But, my dear madim," said the schoolmaster, "Latin is a dead lan guage." "All right," said Mrs. Timkins; "he'll want it. He's going to be an undertaker." Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph. o o ANSWERED N "Well," sneered her husband, "suppose you get the ballot. What will be the first thing you do?" "Order a voting costume, of course!" was her triumphant retort Puck. o o CONGENIAL Mrs. Nextdoor I suppose your daughter is happily married? Mrs. Nagsby Indeed she is. Why, her husband is actually afraid to open his mouth in her presence. Prince RESPITE WANTED In a Scottish college it was the custom for each student in turn to say the grace after meals, and one day a youth took advantage of the opportunity to convey a complaint no one had had the courage to make. He rose and said: "For rabbits young and for rabbits old, For rabbits hot and for rabbits cold, For rabbits tender and for rabbits touch. Our thanks we render, for we've had enough." o o ONE BENEFIT Mistress Good gracious, Susan, the house is on fire ' Susan (overworked) Well mum, it's comfortin' to think that at last there's a fire in the 'ouse I 'aven't 'ad to light! o o AS USUAL "The barber told me a funnv stnrv this morning." 'Illustrated with cuts, I suppose." o o MANY R FELLER OF SMRLL CALIBER THINKS HE IS R BIG GUN whfm . LOADED ' " , , .. irK-iMTt w-ozvw 1 LIKE THIS. "V Pish ' T K" )za bestishYq FEU jN ZR)JX HS l(HIC) WORLD VC& ton Tiger. -w-S