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Newspaper Page Text
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M&t j"ls him. y
k i ; 1
f . IMPROVED HER
Mrs. Whittier What delightful
maners your daughter has!
Mrs. Biler (proudly) Yes; you'
see, she has been away from home sa
much. Smart Set.
) NOT CHRONIC
Irritable Old 'Man Say, does this
car always make this racket?
Chauffeur No, sir; only when it's
running. Buffalo Express.
"Has your husband the.golf fever?"
"I guess so. He's started studying
the game from a book." Detroit
IT DOESN'T EXIST
William Pop, what's a parados?
Father A paradox, my son, is a
woman who wears silk stockings and
:triesto keep it a secret. Puck.
I IMPISH INK
"There is no such thing as luck."
"There isn't, eh? Did you ever see
-anybody upset an inkstand when it
was empty? "-rJqdge.
FRAMING A SURPRISE v
Pat came out of the house, laugh
ing all over his face. He started down
the street, turned the corner in the
direction of a saloon, still laughing,
when he ran into a friend.
"Say, what strikes you so funny?"
inquired the friend.
"Well," said Pat, "Mike's been in
the habit of hitting my vest pocket
where I carry my cigars, and break
ing them all the time. By jabers, I'll
fix him now; I .got a stick of dyna
mite in there." Phila. Record.
ARRIVING AT. IT
A young student was one day walk
ing through a certain town, when he
met an old half-wit, whom he thought ,
to chaff. Going up to him, he said:
"Well, John, can you tell me how
long a man can live without brains?"
"Na, me," said John, "I'm sure I
couldna dae that; but hoo auld are ye,
HERE S H LITTLE ADVICE
FER YOU YOUNG FELLERS
DAT ARE 'TEMPLRITIN'
"LOVE WON'T BUY
BREAD NOR PAY
THE GflS BILL!"
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