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The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 05, 1915, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-05-05/ed-1/seq-17/

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RIGHT ON THE JOB
Zealous Sentry Afraid I can't let
you go by without the password, sir.
Irate Officer But, confound you! I
tell you I have forgotten it You
know me well enough. I'm Major
Jones.
Sentry Can't help it, sir; must
have the password.
Voice from the Guard Tent Oh,
don't stand arguing all night, Bill,
shoot 'im. London Tatler.
o o
AIN'T yow )
cooxe I
V Yct? )
' f""'
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j FRIVOLOUS REMARK
A number of clergymen were dis
cussing the character of a venerable
woman whom they esteemed to be,
wise in her generation, but a young
man who was present said it struck
him that she showed great lack of
wisdom In one respect
"What is that, pray?" inquired an
elderly gentleman.
"Why," said the young man, "she
always puts out her tubs to catch
soft water when it i5 raining hard."
And silence fell upon the assembly.
o o
MORE THAN ENOUGH
1 Modest Suitor I have only $5,000
a year, sir; but I think I can support
your daughter on that
Father (enthusiastically) Sup
port her, my boy. Why, you can sup
port her entire family on it Milwau
kee Sentinel.
oo
THE MORAL
"Now, can anyone tell me what
lesson the parable of the Ten Virgins
teaches us?"
"Please, miss, that everybody
should get married,"
CHANGED HER PLAN
Wife Don't you think you might
manage to keep house alone for a.
week, while I go on a visit?
Husband I guess so; yes, of
course.
WJfe--But won't you be lonely anJ
miserable?
Husband Not a bit
Wife Huh! Then I won't go. .
New Weekly.
o o
REWARDED
T heard youse got fired. Wuznt
youse a success?"
"Sure. I wuz a success at what I
wuz doin'."
"Well, what wuz youse doin'?"
"Makin' mistakes."
H

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