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Newspaper Page Text
- I "fisss, Bur hs brokc
7 w Vt-B
I VAST COUNTRY
Mrs. Wayupp This is a great big
land of ours.
Mr. Blase That's right, and a fel
low doesn't realize it till he travels,
Why, you can actually go to places in
this v country where you don't owe
anybody I fuck.
"They do things differently in Mex
ico." "How's that?"
"The presidents do most of their
running after they're elected."
"What is the principal difference
between modern and ancient times?"
"One of the main points was that
the modern earn their living, while
the ancient urned their dead."
"I hear that as a husband he has
exceeded all expectations."
"Well, his wife's friends .and her
people didn't expect very much."
Kansas City Journal.
Sergeant Pfiz believed in handling
his men firmly. Pausing before one
recruit, he eyed him sternly.
"Now, then, pull yourself togeth
er," he barked harshly; "you're
standing all wrong! Your uniform's
not put on right, your buttons are
dirty, and you're holding your rifle
like a hay fork. Let's see if you can
The recruit stood stock still, and
heaved a high of relief.
"Thank goodness," he said, with
resignation. "I'm right about some
thing, anyway!" London Times.
"That bathing suit of yours is cut
"Can't help it. I want to get tan
ned this summer low enough to meet
my evening gowns." Louisville
o o .
HE KNEW PA
"Suppose, Willum, your father had
$20 in his pocket and I asked to bor
row $5 of him, how much would he
'Twenty dollars, mum." j jitS