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Newspaper Page Text
SOT'S ?WW.'X'l VANTCBTO
AIN'T SER NO Y re H5R avaV
V VAY TO GET (FRreU.eRDDefi
ter, "I wa
I WORSE AND WORSE
Nervous guest (asked to sit next
to his hostess and opposite the goose)
Am I to sit so close to the goose?
(Suddenly feeling this may be mis
understood) Er I mean the roast
"Brown's an inquisitive chap. Com
ing home from the club last night he
climbed up a high gate post to see
what the sign was at the top."
"What was it?"
They were discussing the war.
"In France," said Mr. Cityman,
"the men are all expert fencers."
"Wall, I swan!" exclaimed Farmer
Medergrass. Rail or barbed wire?"
POINT IN ITS FAVOR
Articus Here's my latest picture,
"The Battle." I tell you, war's a ter
rible thing. '
Criticus Oh, I don't think it's so
bad as it's painted.
boys,", said the school mas-
want you to bear in mind that
the word 'stan' at the end of a word
means 'the place of.' Thus we have
Afghanstan the place of the Afgh
ans; also Hindustan the place of the
Hindus. Can any one get another ex
ample?" Nobody appeared very anxious to
do so until little Johnny Snaggs, the
joy of his mother and the terror of
cats, said proudly:
"Yes, sir; I can. Umbrellastan the
place for umbrellas." Kansas City
She kept chattering away when
he was trying hard to follow the per
formance. "Did you ever listen to a play with
your eyes shut?" she went on, ag
gravatingly. "No," he replied, out of patience,
"but suppose you try listening to it
with your mouth shut." Boston
"Well, boy, did you get the stamps
at the postoffice?"
"No, sir; the postoffice is closed.
It's a holiday."
"Whv. this isn't a holidav "
"Oh, yes, it is the postmaster's
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