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Newspaper Page Text
!NPll!PMpMmOTMWMVaM! : K"Sg? VJB!' i PATS ENTERPRISE ' Two Irishmen were crossing the ocean on the way to America. On the voyage Pat died. Preparations were made for the burial at sea, but the lead weights customarily used in such cases were lost and chunks of coal were substituted. Everything was finally ready for the last rites, and long and earnestly did Michael look at his friend. Finally he blurted out, sorrowfully: "Well, Pat, I always knew we were goin' there, but I'm hanged if I thought they'd make ye carry yer own coal." o o NOTHING TO COOK WITH ,' He (describing his war experien ces) Just then the enemy got our range. She You poor fellow! And you had to go without your dinner. St. Louis Globe. o o DAYS OF AGONY "Ma'am, can you do something for a sufferer from the war?" "In what manner did you suffer?" "I was a proof-reader on a daily paper." A COMPROMISE - Archibald Forbes was fond of re counting his experience during a lec ture tour. When Forbes entered the hall there was not a. single soul pres ent After a bit, however, a man strolled in and calmly proceeded to choose a seat It seems he was a commercial traveler, putting up at the place for the night, who had found time hanging heavily on his hands. Nobody else coming, Forbe3 said to the "audience": "Will you have the lecture, or wfll you have a drink " "A drink," said the traveller. o o OF COURSE "What's this trough of the sea we read about?" "Oh, I guess that Is what the ocean greyhounds drink out of." o o HELPING A TRADITION WCKYVEU. I Parson Don't you know where bad little boys go who fish on Sun days? Willum Sure, mister, I'll put you wise! Dey go to th flshln' hole in th river Just-back o' Sauire .Rube's barn , niMwtfijigjyfiw ne vii!l'J''j'i'j