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Newspaper Page Text
" AT THE RIBBON COUNTER
(Characters Bashful youth, pret
ty shop girl, cool floor walker. Time
4 p. m. Scene, department store.)
Youth I w-w-wish to get s-s-some
ribbed for a r-r-red baby!
P. Girl Oh!
Youth I mean some baby for a
ribbed r-r-red one!
P. Girl Bear Tiarrion. sir!
f Youth That is, you know. I mean
soine nooea rea DVLoy ior some
some red ribs for one baby some
one's red baby's ribs some red ribs
for me baby thunder and lightning
where's the door!
P. Girl Really, he is dippy!
Floor Walker This way out, sir!
TARRED WITH SAME STICK
A certain college professor had
written a marginal comment on one
of the student's themes, and shortly
. afterward the student came to him
"Prof. C , I was unable to read
what you wrote on my paper, and my
parents also could not decipher it. I
then called on my uncle, a lawyer,
and he finally managed to read it for
This is what the professor had
written: "Your penmanship is
FLAklkLlN SAY FOOL
COOKEE PINNER, WISE
MAN EATEE.CHlNA BOY
-SAY MAYBE SO FOOL NO
SETTEE STUJMWCk K$
n. y. sum gunmen held up and
killed a feller last nite and left him
dead for the cops to solve another
murder mystery & i gess there aint
nuthing funny about that but there
is sumthing funny about it to &-i will
when the murder happened there
was one city editor who dident have
none of his star reporters around the
offis so he grabs hold of a cub who is
just braking in doing legwork & he
says hussel rite out there and get
the facks about this awful murder
and don't lose no time neether
the cub trots out to the seen of
the murder which was over on 3d
avenue with his pensil and notebook
alreaddy to garner the facks
when he comes back to the offis he
rites his storey and turns it over to
the copyreader & it was a good stor
ey until you get to the end of it and
that is where the goak comes
this is the reporters last paragraf
"luckily for the deceased he had
put all of his money into the bank
that very afternoon so he lost prac
tically nothing but his life"
gee, he was a lucky guy, said the
copyreader as he chopped that para
graf into the waistbasket
Watcher I wish we could tell
whether he is dead or sleeping.
Wife of Dying Man Well, I'll set
off the alarm clock and if it wakes
him up he is surely dead.
She Now that you have listened
to some of my music, what next
would you like to have me play?
He Whist or poker.