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Newspaper Page Text
(Bowen and Bowen.)
"What do you do for a living?"
"My wife takes in washing."
"I wonder if I know your wife."
"She was one of the Berry sisters."
"I'm not feeling well today."
"Here's some medicine, mum. Take
a dose at 8 o'clock."
"And if you're not dead at 9 take
"I've a great mind to give you a
job. I'll give you work if you can
show me a reference from your last
"Sure I can. Here it is."
"This letter says that you're a low
down, lying, drunken thief, and
"Hold on. I gave you the wrong
T Jetter. That must be the one my wife
wrote to ner motner ana gave me to
finail. Here's my reference."
H"Why, this reference is dated 1872."
"That s the last time I had a job."
v HE SAW THEM
L Judge So you say words passed
"between the husband and wife in this
I case ' Did you hear what they were?
Witness No, but I saw them. He
- threw a dictionary at her!
"We can play the most intricate
,"jtunes in our militia band," said the
4 1 11 bet you can t play the airs
hyour drum major puts on," said his
" - "Uncle, I heard father say that he
"had hatched out a scheme. How
could he do that?"
"Why, Clarence, he probably set
his mind on it!"
Music Dealer And here's the
Lucia sextet a very popular record
Mrs. Rox (virtuously) No, not for
a family machine. There's too much
of this sex business nowadays!
GEORGE M. COHAN ,
Glofge M. Cohan maybeso glatest
Bletsy Ross allasammee supply,
stlipes fo Melican flag Glorge Cohan,
Glorge birthday on Fourth July.
Glorge gleat patriot allasammee like,
Glorge Washington, father of whole
dam countlee! Glorge Cohan no
tellee lie him hire pless agent toijlg
it for him. i-
BUSINESS i iPri
Mother So you stopped to fish?,
Well, any bites?
Johnny Yep. A sucker from the
hotel bought some more of my dead
minnows for bait and another guy
gave me a quarter to tell him wher
not to fish. .