The day book. [volume], July 15, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
NEEDED-A TONIC!
(A vaudeville act in one part
Scene Best room, any home, This
"town, today. Characters Father,
mother, pretty daughter, doctor.)
Mother (pettishly) Clara doesn't
act well at all. It was nine before
tshe came down to breakfash this
glnorning.
Father She doesn't look welL I
guess her system needs toning up.
Ah, good morning, doctor. (Enter
family doctor.) Glad to see you.
$ Mother Doctor, I'm glad you
kcame just now. Clara needs a tonic
iWhat kind shall we give her?
; Father I think she needs iron.,
Dnntnr Vsrv well. I nresr.rihp. a
.'flat iron.
(Curtain.)
PUZZLED PARENT!
Polly, the washerwoman, was deep
in a discussion of her family's short
comings. "Man fambly suttinly do hab some
shawtcomin's," she declared. "Fur,-
instance: Mah son Jawge er jes lak
a grasshoppah."
"My goodness!" gasped the mis
tress. "How, Polly?"
"Well, buhcawse only two things in
he whole worl' worries him: He wor
ses dat he hab to wake to eat, an'
Hen he worries dat. he hab to stop
katin' to go to sleep. Ah suttinly
Hoan undahstan' dat boy."
5f"But how do you conclude that he
js like a grasshopper?" 'queried the
perplexed mistress.
"Jes' buhcawse he er de most mis
undehstandable creature dat Ah kin
think of, dat's why," she answered.
Louisville Times.
IRRESISTIBLE
Summer Hotel Proprietor Gad!
We never had so many men guestsx
before. D'you suppose It was my ad
vertisement of fine air that brought
'em?
His Partner No; my advertise
ment of fine heiresses.
mm
WL09WLO
IN
AMEUCA
j$
jrs
Lflfq3-T'n
$'
ANDREW JACKSON
Andlew Jackson gleat man.
Him first Melican boss.
Flounded democlatic party. Maybe
so long time befo Melican people
found out democlatic party.
Andy dead so nobody blamee on
him for it.
Bimeby many kind democlats.
More kind democlats than Irish!
We see. i
o o
TOE 6D WftND m THb
rMLV7
A'
Aaw because he wever
COMES A-M1SS!
L.
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