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Newspaper Page Text
J thing else to do I thought Td jusf
, n. y. patterson is in New Jersey
1 , which is west of n. y. and where lots
' ol peepul live who pick up there pay
envelopes sumwheres between the
hattery and the bronix
besides that patterson is noted for
feits silk mills
this feller was being sood for de
sflvorse from his friend wife and the
wife's mother was on the witness
. stand ripping- her soninlaw into 40-
- among the rest she said that he
, got drunk
' here was where the feller's own
'lawyer thought he wood trip the old
'lady up & so he sarkastickally ink-
; madam you say the defendant was
drunk, have you ewer been drunk
); no, i shood hope not, snapped back
' ;the lady who was purty mad
well madam have you ewer seen
' anny body else drunk
i sawfcthat good for nuthing sanin
jjaw of mine drunk onct
verry well madam, how. do you
ijfknow he was drunk
if i shood say ,i do know he wasdrunk
-' why, isisted the lawyer
': he kissed me, thats why
The young man in the bureau of
information laid the railroad guide
down and looked reproachfully at the
.woman who had turned in a volley of
"Madam," he said, "you can't pos
sibly take all these trains you are
jv "I know it," she replied serenely,
"but as long as I didn't hare say-1
see for myself how much you rafl
road men really know about youij
business." Washington Star.
(Vaudeville playlet in one act
Time today. Place any home
Characters Bridget OToole, new
house maid; mistress, Mrs. Timmons,
her friend). .
Mistress Now, Bridget, I have
showed you how to use the tele
phone. Bridget Yis, mum.
Mistress If anyone phones me'
if the bell rings lift off the receiver.
Exit mistress; pause of a minute;
phone rings; Bridget jumps for re
ceiver. Bridget Hello!
'Mrs. Timmons (over wire) Who
Bridget Indade, 01 don't know
divil a bit kin I see ye!
NAME MY LflUE DoSr
WMY BECAUSE HE fS SOS00D'
mm n smw