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Newspaper Page Text
(Nat Wills, the Happy Tramp.)
As I was walking down the street
the other day I saw two girls all
dolled up. One of them had on red,
white and blue stockings and the
other wore green ones. They were go
in opposite directions, and I didn't
knew which I should follow. I de
cided to see America first
A short way down another street a
truck load of insect powder over
turned. ' Down the street came a lit
tle car. It was going fine until it
struck the insect powder, then it
curled up and died.
A QUESTION OF ABILITY
One day the principal of a high
school gave a bright boy a sum in
algebra, and, although me problem
was comparatively easy, he couldn't
"You ought to be ashamed of your
" self," remarked the principaL "At
: your age George Washington was a
The boy looked him straight in the J
face and replied: At your age he
was president of the United States."
SOLVING THE DIFFICULTY
The following was put to pupils in
a public school:
"There is a family of five children.
The mother has only four potatoes
to divide among them. She wants
to give each child an equal share.
What is she to do?"
Finally one boy put up his hand.
r "Well, Sammy, what would you
do?" asked the teacher.
"Mash the potatoes, ma'am." Top
"Our miBister has received a call
i- from somewhere at a higher salary
and I understand he is at home pray
ing for guidance."
"What does his wife think' about
"Oh, she's packfeog jm." - &2gfc ,
WANTS TO RECIPROCATE vfl
"Wal!" sighed Cyrus Browne, M
genuine Rhode Island farmer as hen
entered the house, "Jed Hopkins)
wants me to be pallbearer agin to biff
wife s funeraL
"Wal, wot be yer hesitatin' about?"
rejoined his soul mate.
"It's this way, Melasa. Yknow
when Jed's fust wife died he asked
me to be a pall-bearer, an' I did. Then
his second wife died, an I wuz pall
beare,r fur her. An' then he married
Deacon Wall's widow, an' she died,
an' I wuz the same agin. An' now
wal, I don't like to be all the time
acceptin' favors without bein' able to
return 'em." Everybody's."
Weary James TherS's some fine
aeroplanes going up over this way,
Tattered Haul Wish I was facin'
that way, Jimmy. '
Hsta bones, why should
WOMEN B& EMPLOYED imouR
M BECAUSE TMEY kNOs
nu iu TUVNUI.C