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Newspaper Page Text
IN WESTERN AMERICA T
An Englishman who stopped over
night at a western hostelry noticed
that instead of ringing the bell or
sounding the gong at meal time the
proprietor went to the front door and
fired a double-barreled shotgun.
"That's a novel idea of yours," he
remarked to the proprietor, "calling
your guests by firing a gun."
"Y-a-as," drawled the proprietor,
"it generally fetches 'em around in
time to say grace."
"Yes," admitted the Englishman,
"but pardon the question. Why do
you discharge only one barrel?"
"Wouldn't do to shoot 'em both,"
answered the proprietor. "Have to
keep the other barrel to collect pay."
AN EYE TO BUSINESS
Johnny's mother was tired of hav
ing her tablecloths stained. So she
instituted a fine of a penny for every
During tea a few days later Joljnny
was observed rubbing his rather
grimy finger very hard on the cloth'
beside his cup and saucer.
"Johnny, what on earth are you
doing?" asked his mother in surprise.
"You'll soil the tablecloth."
"Oh, no, I won't," replied the boy.
Tm just trying to rub two spots Into
, Benevolent Individual Yes, sir; I
hold that when a man. makes a little
extra money his first duty Is to make
his wife a present of a handsome
Stranger You are a social philos
opher, I presume?
B. L No; I'm a dry goods mer
chant. o o
ONE WAY OUT
"I do so wish you would go to
church with me occasionally. How
are people to know that I am married
if they never see you with me?"
"Easy. Take the children with
Ella Why did she throw herself
at him in that way?
Stella Because she knew he was
a good catch!
HISTA" BOWE5 vwv IS
GAMBLIN6 IN LDttDOK UN
1BECAUSE YOU LOSH)
' )S0 MANY p-J