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Newspaper Page Text
new york the other day the lady
who answers al the letters that other
ladies rite to the paper asking kwes
huns was taking a day off on account
of sum companie coming over from
& a feller who used to work on the
lost & found ad desk was put to work
answering the inkwirees
he got along purty well i gess until
her reeched this letter which was from
she said in her letter, i have all
reddy lost 3 husbands and now i have
a offer of a 4th, shall i marry hiih
well the guy reeds that letter 2 or
3 times and then he hunts up all the
books on eddikate and how to be po
lite in society and the dickshunary
without ever finding a sootable an-"
swer so he shets his eyes and trusts
to luck while he rote the answer
this is the answer what the lady
if you have allreddy lost 3 hus
bands i should say that you are en
tirely too careless to be. trusted with
another 1 unless you nail -a tag on
him so he can be returned if he is
"Strange," said the first tramp,
meditatively, "how few of our youth
ful dreams come true!"
"Oh, I dunno," said his companion.
"I remember when I used to dream
about wearin' long pants and now I
guess I wear 'em longer than any one
else in the country." Ladies' Home
CANDIDLY TRUTHFUL - -J
A certain Harvard professor once'
was astounded to see, written in bold
script on the schoolroom blackboard,
the statement that he was a jackass.
Calling his class before him he finally
got one youth to admit he had writ
ten the lines.
After the confession was freely
made the professor said: "At least,
Jones, I am glad to see you are truthful"
An old Scotchwoman sent her lit
tle boy to the corner grocery after a
quarter's worth of corn syrup. She
gave him the money and two jugs
each of which would have been ample
to carry the syrup.
"Why did you give him two jugs?"
asked a visiting neighbor.
"Weel, ye see, it's this way. If I
gie him two jugs to carry he klnna
dip his wee fingers in the syrup en
MlSTA BONE 3, WW DOE? MY
VDOU. MAKE SO MUCH
NOSE SCOOPING-OUT Ttte
BECAUSE SHE HAWK
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